Chapter 4

Now Dance

Eva

We arrive later, of course. According to the cool girls’ code, only losers go on time. So here we are, Christina made my hair and I think it’s not so bad. That doesn’t mean I don’t check if I’ve tucked my skirt in my underwear by accident every five minutes. Cloe throws a party at beginning of every school year, and I’m probably invited here because:

One- I’ve known Christina since we were kids and our mothers are somehow still friends, despite the huge difference between them.

Two - I sometimes help their whole group with homework, including Max (he’s hopeless, by the way).

Three- well, I think there’s no three.

“Chris, finally” she’s suddenly surrounded by her girlfriends, hugging her, complimenting her eyeliner. Too much perfume, skin –lotion fruity scents, and brand outfits.

“Hi, Eva. You look nice!” one of them - Jodie - says. They’re either making fun of me, or we’ve come later than I thought and they’re drunk already.

“I’ll go grab a soda,” I tell Chris and leave them.

I’m heading for the kitchen where probably the improvised bar is. I’m trying to make my way through furniture, girls spreading hands like trees in attempts at dancing, the big empty-headed guys from The Wolves; okay- maybe they’re not all so stupid. Kyle’s smarter than he looks but if keeps hanging out with Jared, he’ll lose a big number of brain cells. I’m squeezed, but halfway there when

when

what?

then

I see Him.

Time freezes. I make his face out among the many dull faces I see every single day. What I feel is nothing like what I’ve read in books, seen in movies, or whatever.

There’s nothing nice about it. It’s scary.

I can hear my heartbeat drumming loud in my ears, louder than the music playing. It’s like I have something stuck in my throat and it lays heavy there. My palms are sweating and my heart keeps skipping beats. I feel that terrible tightening in my stomach, it’s not exactly painful but it’s that awful stir I get when we have a test and I see the sheet contains questions I have not studied for.

I keep walking but my legs are too heavy. Wait- did I miss a spot when I shaved my legs earlier? No, don’t check, Eva. And don’t you dare trip all over yourself. Please, not now.

I should’ve put on more makeup, done my nails in a different color. Taken the dress Chris was offering me, not the one I thought comfortable.

I’m so stupid.

And ugly.

He sees me watching him, I was probably staring too hard. A slow smile spreads on his face and he starts walking in my direction. He’s tall- Cloe wasn’t exaggerating- all right. But I swear he looks so different from what I thought the new guy would look like.

I don’t know what I imagined, another copy of “the player” stereotype, perhaps- all muscles and no brains. Whatever I may have pictured it turns out to be very far from the truth.

Wait- is he coming?

I’m halfway facepalming myself for being so dumb like he’d come when Jared pulls him into one of those bro hugs guys give each other. They’ve become friends already, I should’ve figured. Or maybe they aren’t there yet, but they’ll be hanging out together from now on.

“Oh, please...” I hear someone right behind me saying and I turn around, startled. The moment I look at him, I know.

It’s not something obvious, or a certain way someone looks. It’s just a hunch. A feeling- primal and plain- the recognition someone is just like you and can understand you better than people you’ve known for years. Chris’s mom has always said we have to trust that feeling.

I’ve always thought it doesn’t exist.

“Don’t tell me you’re another of the many fans, swooning over my cool, funny brother.” he continues “Hey, don’t look so terrified. And no- I wasn’t adopted.”

“No, wait” too many things are going on in my head. I look back at the guy with Jared, then back at the boy standing next to me. I can’t believe they’re brothers. Besides, no one said anything about a brother.

They look nothing alike. And I’m not swooning, he may look different, but he’s probably just like anyone else. Just more handsome. Okay, a lot more handsome, but the point stands.

“You thought I’m too weird and can’t possibly be related to Nathan. That’s his name, by the way,” the guy continues.

He’s English. Another thing no one said anything about. I feel like I’m the only one left out of a joke everyone else knows.

“Are you surprised I’m foreign, or you don’t quite get all I’m saying?” He waves a hand in front of my eyes when I don’t say anything.

“Hello?”

“Wait, no...Geez, I’m trying to think here.”

“About why I’m being an ass and still talking to you, or?”

“No, no...Are you always so defensive?” I’ve never been that direct with anyone in my entire life.

“Nah, I’m messing with you. And I prefer edgy,” he replies “Anyway, unlike most guys, I don’t want to be here.” He has a cool accent. I don’t want to think if his brother’s voice is cute. Or sexy. Or anything at all.

“I’m Eva, hi.”

“Just Eva, or it’s short from something?”

“Just Eva.” I notice something’s a bit off with him. I’d say he’s had too many shots already, but there’s something else. It’s like he’s way too careful with his moves but not the same way a drunk person is. And I know perfectly well how a drunk person acts.

“Canadians,” he says with an eye-roll and I start laughing. “And don’t ask me if I like Canmore, or Alberta or anything.”

“No, no worries- I wasn’t going to. It’s not my favorite place either.”

“Yeah, I can tell.” He snorts and finishes the contents of his plastic cup.

“Oh, really, how so?” I ask and turn to him. I’m joking – I probably look as out of place here as he does. But I can’t know how he’ll take it. And he replies seriously, all the humor from his earlier remarks gone.

“It’s just that weird feeling you get when you meet someone who seems to be hating this whole mess as much as you do. Or even more, I don’t know yet.” He looks at me and I try to think of an answer, but I hear Chris calling me from somewhere.

“Eva! There you are. You two met already, I knew it. What’s up?”

The guy smiles.

How can two people born from the same womb be so different, down to the way they smile. If Nathan looks confident, with his broad shoulders and even more confident smile, the guy next to me, even if not much shorter than the other is much skinnier and looks fed up with everything. I’ve always believed I can’t understand how siblings’ similarities work as I’m an only child. Yet, I’m aware there’s no connection more special than the one between brothers and sisters. It’s like, sometimes they’re so close to each other that people not from the family will naturally be outsiders about certain things, but still.

“Hi Christina” he replies and that pulls me away from my thoughts. “I’m going out for a smoke. Nice meeting you Eva, short from nothing. I’ll see you guys in class.”

“In class?” I turn to Christina once he’s gone.

“Well, yeah. We’re in the same class.”

“But you didn’t say anything...”

“You didn’t come yesterday, otherwise you would’ve seen him. And I forgot, sorry. Anyway, whatever.” I don’t get the chance to say anything from there on because she’s is all over me, almost shouting in my ear:

“But did you see his brother? Oh. My. God. He’s sexy from that taper cut to the red sneakers he’s wearing... So, Cloe said...”

I’m flooded with words, squeaking and then even more words, half of them lost to the music. I feel the phone buzzing in my pocket. Then what must be messages. My mom. I know it’s her without even looking.

I knew it. There is a big joke going on around here and, I was the only one who didn’t get it, so I couldn’t laugh with them.

And my new classmate didn’t even bother to introduce himself.