Chapter 115

He had looked at her then, at last.

For a long time, across the fire, the way you look at a page you have been told is one thing and have just learned is another. Lyra held it. I don’t know how. Then he said, very quietly, “In the morning. The Lady Elowen speaks first. Then you.” And Lyra lay down again with her face to the wall, and he got up and went out, and pulled the door behind him.

He slept outside it. I knew, because I didn’t sleep much. The snow came and went, and his horse stood in the lee of the wall with its head down, and he lay across the doorstones under his cloak, and every so often I heard him breathe.

Once, toward morning, I got up and stood on my side of the door with my hand flat against the wood. Rough planks, a draught along the bottom, cold. On the other side, nothing moved. He knew I was there. I knew he knew.

I didn’t open it. That was the point. It was mine not to open.

***

At first light I asked Saskia for paper.

S