Chapter 190

She opened her eyes and the room was the same—the same pale light, the same still figure on the bed, the same weight of everything unsaid pressing down on her shoulders. She wondered if he could feel her presence even in his unconsciousness. She wondered if somewhere deep inside, beneath the sedatives and the pain and the haze of almost-death, he knew that she was here. That she had not abandoned him. That she never could.

She stood up from her position, pacing left and right across the room, her bare feet brushing against the soft rug, leaving invisible impressions of her restlessness. Her heart thumped restlessly in her chest, a wild inferno she could feel stretching from her ribcage down into her stomach. Every beat seemed louder than the last, echoing in her ears, thrumming through her veins like a drum she could not stop, a wild rhythm that matched the chaotic spinning of her thoughts. It was everywhere—her throat, her temples, her belly—demanding release, screaming for r