Chapter 111

I pick up my bag and wander across the street to collect my shoes, looking up at my apartment with cold emptiness. I’m numb, my feet ache, and tears stream down my face. I wander slowly into the building, letting myself in and getting up to my floor via the stairs. It’s deathly silent, around two am or thereabouts, and I try not to make too much noise that will disturb my neighbors.

I only sat on the cold sidewalk for a minute or so before self-preservation kicked in. My numbness made me move and walk inside. I can’t stop sobbing, but I feel dead inside. I don’t think I can handle this pain if I sit and ponder it, so I have decided to walk anywhere, anyplace, until my legs fall off so that I do not sit here and cry over his leaving me.

Again.

When I get into my apartment, I throw my bag, coat, and shoes aside, find sneakers and a hoody, pull them over the top of my dress, tuck my hair behind my ears, and head back out. I don’t want to be here surrounded by everythi