Chapter 5

“No, Christian.” I haul out the sexy dress from my case for the third time and throw it back on the bed. He borrowed it from a senior after a runway show they put on days ago, and I am not impressed with his choice of dress for me at my sister’s party.

“He will have his eyes pop out of his head if you wear this.” He smirks, holding up a scrap of cloth and sashaying around my bedroom like a movie star, molding it against him.

“I think most of me will be popping out in this. He’s seen me in various forms of skimpy clothing, and trust me, it does nothing for him. I know him, Chris; this will just make him think I’ve gone back to slumming it with sleazy men and backstreet nightclubs. I don’t even care about making an impression on him, so it’s unnecessary.” I swipe the dress from him and throw it away, over the bed this time. Glaring sternly, trying to make him stop interfering.

Ever since he met him, he has not stop tried to goad me into playground tactics and far-flung ideas about Arrick being jealous or heartbroken without me. If any of that were true, he would have contacted me in the last few days, and he hasn’t.

Or in the last three months!

“Of course, you don’t. That’s why you have spent the last two days obsessively trying on dresses and makeup for a seemingly innocent family gathering.” He smirks at me with a knowing brow lift and a sassy twinkle in his eye, and my temper bites.

“Fuck off.” I wave him away as he starts snooping in my case again, infuriatingly. “Don’t you have a boyfriend you should be kissing goodbye right now? Jake has the car picking us up in an hour for the flight home.” I shove him away by the face as he starts messing with my lace lingerie in the open bag. Christian sighs and throws himself on the bed dramatically, adopting the Hollywood pose of a distraught heroine with a palm on his forehead while making loud, weird noises that I’m sure are meant to represent misery.

“I already gave him the customary kiss and fuck. He’s off playing straight tonight while he meets his father in the city.” His boyfriend’s double life is a huge sore point in Christian’s and James’s relationship. Christian figures that all parents are as easy as his when announcing one’s sexuality and cannot empathize with anything different.

“Well, go pick up Jenny. She should have been here by now, so we can all have a little chill-out drink before I need to get on a plane with you know who.” Jake sprung it on me less than an hour ago that Arrick and Nathan will join us on the flight home to the Hamptons. Something Arrick rarely did was fly, and I don’t know how to feel about this. Jake’s been at the office sorting issues out, despite taking a break to help Emma with their new baby and is adamant we all go back together tonight as one big happy family.

He is clearly deluded and can’t see past his brother’s ass.

The party is tomorrow night, but that means my family gets to spend some time with me beforehand, and I can properly introduce my two best friends to everyone. Christian met my parents when they came to the city for dinner with me; my mother loved him. Pretty sure she missed all his gay hints until he confessed his boyfriend problems to her and broke her heart for any wedding plans she had brewing in her head.

“The shift dress.” He points out the neatly folded item on my vanity, the dress I haven’t worn since Natasha got red wine stains out of it. It reminds me too much of them both, and it’s sat there for weeks, unsure what to do with it. You don’t just toss Louis Vuitton away, even if ever wearing it again makes me want to cut my heart out with a spoon.

“For the flight.” He winks at me with that irritating-as-shit, know-it-all look that is now becoming the thing I hate most about him.

“You always look super sexy in an understated way, in classic shift dresses, especially with those heels with the ankle straps.” I gaze down at the skinny jeans and tank I was thinking of keeping on for comfort but realize he is on to something. I’ll have to endure Arrick for an hour minimum, and maybe it won’t hurt to look good while flying home and pretending to be over him. He sure as hell didn’t seem that broken up over losing me when we saw him that day in the restaurant.

I chew on my lip thoughtfully, pushing the memories of him away, like I’ve done tens of thousands of times since that day, and ignore the brewing storm inside of me.

Do not let him get to you. He doesn’t deserve your pain.

“You know I’m right. Go get your face on and fluff out your hair while I chase up our girly. Won’t be long, sexy.” Christian slaps my ass as he walks by and leaves in a cloud of designer aftershave that’s too sexy for words. I need to ask him what he wears, as it’s seriously alluring, like a little trail of oomph wherever he goes. It reminds me of Arrick’s scent, but I don’t want to make that connection, shaking the thoughts away again.

I regard the dress on the vanity and frown, knowing I don’t owe it to Arrick to dress up and look pretty, but a part of me wants to. To show him that I’ve gone on with my life without him. I kept my shit together and am doing okay for myself without him.

I don’t need him.

Dressed in jeans and a tee, I look relaxed but also way too casual, and I want to show him that I am more than I was when he rejected me from his life. That I am worth more than what he chose over me. I need to feel like I had a lucky escape, not focus on everything he used to be, everything he was to me.

My apartment around me is my pride and joy and the homeliest comforting space I have ever known. I have real friends around me who care and don’t use me as a means to an end for my money. My family and I are mending bridges, and there is a new-found trust in me because they seem to know this is different and giving me gentle breathing space to find my way. Sticking with school and doing well for myself, excelling at the top of my class. I have everything to be proud of.

These past few weeks, I’ve learned enough of the basics of sewing and designing to kit out my own sewing room and spend all my spare time sewing beautiful simple things and binge-watching tutorials. I enjoy every second of being creative and fashioning things for myself, designing my own wardrobe. An eclectic collection of styles and eras as I have been fully opened to the fashion world and the vast number of talents around me. I have purpose and meaning in my life that was lacking before, and I feel like I am finally on a path to something happier. I have nothing to hide from him.

I move to my wardrobe and decide on a compromise to what Christian thinks I should wear. A floaty summer dress that is modest yet cute and a little short and flirty, paired with sandals and a cardigan. I won’t look overdressed, but feminine and young like I used to. Hair loose in its longer bob and my now trademark natural makeup. I need to show Arrick how much better I am alone and that I don’t need him anymore. How much more settled in my old skin I am.

Half an hour later, I am ready as my duo of sidekicks walk back in. Christian whistles, handsome in chinos, a white shirt, and loafers. Jenny is in a long jersey dress with short sleeves and leggings and looking curvy for once, equally cute with her delicate features and gentle smile.

I love these two to death, and they complete a part of me that would be struggling so much worse if I didn’t have them. They are the only reason I’ve been able to stay strong and not cave, keeping me occupied and being my strength when I waiver. Without them, I would have called him a million times in the past weeks. Within the first month.

“You look really pretty, Sophie.” Jenny beams at me, dragging her weekend case behind her and propping it against the two cases we already put by the door. All ready for the dreaded two days home with him.

“Some Dutch courage for the road?” Christian lifts a bottle of Prosecco from his shoulder bag, smiling as we nod in unison. Loving his forward-thinking and knowing what I need.

I think I should just marry Christian!