Chapter 49

I reach over and cover his hand with mine; I gulp and take another steadying breath. Knowing it’s now or never, I decide I should get it all out before losing my courage.

“More than a dozen men in my mother’s life tried to abuse me, some a little more successfully than others.” My voice breaks, but I swallow down the urge to cry. This is so much harder than I ever imagined. Telling Jake, of all people, is the most devastating thing I’ve ever done. I don’t want to open my eyes; I don’t want to do this, but I know I must. If I’m ever to feel worthy of his love, then he must know all of what he’s trying to love. He needs the full picture so he can run if he wants to. He needs to see the dark side of me, the part I keep hidden away, and only then if he still loves me, will I genuinely believe that he can love me as much as I love him.

He doesn’t speak or move. I think he’s holding his breath in case any interruption stops me from going on, closing that door in his face again