Chapter 38

“I hate them both, and I don’t care if you’re disgusted at me for it. I want us to be normal, for none of this to hurt this way because it all hurts so damn much, and I did not need an unplanned pregnancy thrown in the mix to royally fuck my head up more than it already is… I don’t even know how to feel about this baby other than I don’t want to get rid of it, and that has me crazy as hell… You want to know why I didn’t want the house, Jake? Because I’m scared, I’m so goddamn fucking scared of all of this because it’s real and frightening. All I’ve ever had in life to show me what relationships are is a fucked-up, selfish bitch of a mother who let men abuse me and a father who let himself get paid off to never fucking come near me again after years of acting like I didn’t exist! I don’t believe that anyone can ever truly love me the way you say you do or that you’ll stay with me and protect me when no one else has… Why would you?... You alone have the power to destroy me and leave m