Chapter 103

I push down the chaotic feelings threatening to override my courage. A wave of nausea washes over me, tadpole’s instincts at knowing something is wrong with me. I nod toward the chair in front of her desk, looking for permission to sit despite already having it. She frowns at me, annoyed by my ignorance of her request before, yet obliges and nods toward the chair opposite her desk with an exasperated look. I scold myself for my childish questioning to sit; PA Emma would’ve never sought her permission. An adult should be able to sit without needing consent, but she has a way of making me feel like a child all over again.

“Please.” She sits back, removing her glasses and laying her palms on the table across one another. I cannot help but watch her stiff upright posture, careful mannerisms, and sigh. Jake is right, I used to behave exactly like her, but I didn’t see it; every movement, carefully placed, always aware of her grace and gestures, cool and coldly poised. I look down a