Chapter 18

Neve

I wake up warm.

It’s so unfamiliar that for a few seconds I just lie there, trying to understand it. A real mattress. A heavy quilt that smells of lavender detergent. Gray morning light through a window I don’t recognize, and beyond it, the sound of water moving.

The river. Asher’s house.

Then the rest arrives, all at once. The bleach. The empty coffee can. Dominic’s hand braced on the wall beside my head. Crying into a stranger’s pillow until I couldn’t breathe.

I sit up, and the room tilts.

I know this feeling. I’ve known it every month for three years. The ache starts deep in my bones and spreads outward, my skin burning while my hands and feet stay cold as ice. My forehead is damp. My mouth is dry.

The full moon