Chapter 36

Neve

For three days, I become very good at disappearing.

I learn which hallways my mother uses and which ones she doesn’t. I learn that she comes to the packhouse every morning at nine to see Mercy, and every afternoon at four to sit with Lena, and that if I’m in the walk-in pantry at nine and in the laundry room at four, I don’t have to see her at all.

Lena knows exactly what I’m doing. She doesn’t say a word. She just keeps sending me to the pantry at nine, every single morning, for something we don’t need.

On the second day, I hear my mother’s voice in the hall outside the kitchen. Low and tired, asking Lena if I’m eating. Lena says yes. My mother says thank you, and her voice cracks on it, and I stand in the dark of the pantry with a sack of flour in my arms and my eyes squeezed shut until she’s gone.

On the third day, Ray finds me anyway.

I’m on the back steps on my break, wrapped in the lavender cardigan, watching the snow come down o