Chapter 399

Perhaps I could have told them how much they hurt me when they punished me. The morning after I had expressed some of it, but I’d buried most of it. I’d kept the dreams a secret and not really helped them understand the psychological damage they had inflicted on our relationship.

While I could not have stopped the corporal punishment, I could have helped them understand it was a mistake. If I’d really been honest about how scarring that experience was, they might have listened. Instead I had buried my feelings and let things go on. It was a slave’s reaction to accept their will without question. I should not have done that.

At the end of the day, the issue was clear. I loved Damien and his brothers, despite their past mistakes. They had forced me into performing sexually for them, but they’d never asked that I come to love them. In the beginning I don’t think they’d even been aware I could feel this way about them. Now everything about this situation was my choice.