Chapter 4

Abby

I walked upstairs because Liam told me to. I even opened my bedroom door.

But Kade’s and Liam’s voices carried from the kitchen below, and curiosity got the better of me.

Then Kade said the words that seemed to crush all the air from my lungs.

“She can’t be my Luna.”

Diana whimpered inside me.

He does not want us, I said.

Knox does, she whispered. I felt him.

So had I.

Kade’s wolf had reached for us the instant our eyes met. Kade had been the one to pull away.

The conversation downstairs continued, but I stopped listening. I went into my room and closed the door. My legs felt weak.

Diana?

I’m here. Her voice was quieter than it had been only hours ago.

I sat on the edge of my bed.

Maybe Liam would change his mind. Maybe Kade would come upstairs and tell me he had panicked.

Hope rose before I could stop it. I hated it.

I couldn’t sit there waiting for him to decide whether I was worth a chance.

I pulled a hoodie over my head, shoved my feet into shoes, and opened the window. The low section of roof beneath it had been my escape route more than once when Liam and I were younger.

Tonight, I climbed down without making a sound. The cold autumn air hit my face.

I could have gone to Chloe, but then there would be questions, and Noah would probably appear five minutes later. Liam would find me before I knew what I wanted to say.

I needed somewhere no one expected anything from me. So I headed for the forest.

The lights of Moonhaven disappeared behind the trees. Frost had begun forming along the grass, and fallen leaves cracked softly beneath my shoes.

Everything smelled different now. Damp earth. Bark. The river somewhere ahead.

And Kade.

His scent seemed lodged inside me. Cedar and cold night air. I hated how much I wanted to turn around and follow it.

He will come after us, Diana said.

I knew. Part of me wanted him to. That was worse.

I walked faster. I made it as far as a fallen tree near the river before exhaustion caught up with me.

My first shift had left every muscle aching, and my legs finally refused to cooperate.

I sat on the trunk and wrapped my arms around myself. For a while, neither Diana nor I spoke.

Then I asked the question I had been trying not to think about.

Why would the Moon Goddess choose him if he doesn’t want us?

I don’t know.

My throat tightened.

Maybe he’s right.

A growl vibrated through my mind.

No.

I don’t know how to be a Luna.

Neither does anyone before they learn.

I closed my eyes. It sounded so simple when she said it.

Kade had known me almost my entire life. He knew I loved Moonhaven. But when he imagined me beside him, none of that had mattered. All he had seen was what I lacked.

A branch snapped behind me. I froze.

Then I caught Liam’s scent.

“Abby!” Liam crashed through the trees first. The relief on his face disappeared beneath anger the moment he saw me.

“What the hell were you thinking?” He crossed the distance and pulled me to my feet.

“I needed air.”

“You climbed out your window.”

“You would have stopped me if I used the door.”

“Yes!”

Despite everything, I almost smiled.

Then Kade appeared behind him. The bond reacted instantly. Heat spread through my chest. Diana surged toward him.

Knox answered. For one terrible heartbeat, I felt how badly his wolf wanted us.

Then Kade shut him away. The warmth vanished.

I stepped out of Liam’s arms. “You came after me.”

Kade’s jaw tightened. “Of course I did.”

“Why?”

His eyes held mine. “Because you disappeared into the forest in the middle of the night.”

Liam looked between us. “Let’s go home.”

“No.” I turned fully toward Kade. “I heard what you said.”

He exhaled slowly. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

A bitter laugh escaped me. “Would it be less true if I hadn’t?”

“No.”

The answer hurt, but at least it was honest.

For a few seconds, none of us spoke.

Then I asked the only question that mattered. “Are you going to choose me?”

Kade froze. His lips parted. Nothing came out.

One second.

Two.

That was enough.

I swallowed. “Then reject me.”

Kade’s eyes snapped to mine. “No.”

The answer startled me. “No?”

“I’m not rejecting you tonight.”

“Why?”

“You’re exhausted, Abby. You shifted for the first time hours ago. Neither of us has had time to think. ”

“You had enough time to decide I can’t be your Luna.”

The bond pulled violently. Diana reached for Knox, and his wolf answered with a desperate surge.

I stepped back.

Kade reached for me. “Abby.”

“No.” My voice shook, but I kept going. “You can’t keep me tied to you while you figure out whether I’m good enough.”

“That’s not what this is.”

“Then tell me you choose me.”

His face tightened.

He couldn’t.

That hurt more than anything he could have said.

“I don’t want to spend tomorrow wondering if you’ll change your mind,” I said. “Or next week. Or every time you look at me.”

Liam’s anger had disappeared. He looked devastated now. “Abby, you don’t have to decide this tonight.”

“Kade already did.”

“I haven’t,” Kade said.

I looked at him. “You don’t want me, but you don’t want to let me go either.”

“I do want you.” The words came out rough and immediate. “But wanting you isn’t enough.”

He rubbed a hand over his face. “No matter what happens between us, Moonhaven is still your home. You’ll always be protected here.”

Protected. Not loved. Not chosen.

“I don’t want you to protect me because you’re my Alpha.”

“That isn’t—”

“I wanted my mate.”

The words silenced him.

“I wanted someone who would be happy when he found me.”

Kade looked away. That hurt most of all.

Liam stepped closer. “Take the night.”

I shook my head. “If we wait, I’ll spend the entire night hoping.” My voice dropped. “And I don’t want to hope anymore.”

Liam closed his eyes briefly, then stepped back.

Kade and I faced each other.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” he said.

“You still made the choice for both of us.”

“Abby—”

“Do it.”

Knox fought him so violently that Kade’s power rolled through the clearing, stirring dead leaves around his boots.

Please, Diana whimpered.

I didn’t know whether she meant him or me.

Kade’s eyes glistened. Then the Alpha mask settled over his face.

“I, Kade Blackwell, Alpha of the Moonhaven Pack, reject you, Abigail Hayes, as my mate.”

I doubled over, pain tearing through my chest from the inside. Diana screamed.

Liam reached for me, but I held up one hand. I had to finish it.

The bond stretched between us, fraying but still alive. For one final moment, I felt him. Pain. Regret. Desire. Knox fighting with everything he had.

And beneath all of it, Kade’s decision. He had still chosen this.

I forced myself upright. His face looked almost as broken as I felt. But broken wasn’t the same as changed.

I swallowed against the pain.

“I, Abigail Hayes of the Moonhaven Pack, accept your rejection.”