Chapter 4

Abby

I walked upstairs because Liam told me to, and I even opened my bedroom door. But Kade’s and Liam’s voices carried up from the kitchen, and curiosity got the better of me.

Then Kade said the words that crushed the air from my lungs.

“She can’t be my Luna.”

Diana whimpered inside me.

He doesn’t want us, I told her.

Knox does, she whispered. I felt him.

So had I. Kade’s wolf had reached for us the instant our eyes met. It was Kade who had pulled away.

The conversation downstairs went on, but I stopped listening. I went into my room, closed the door, and sat on the edge of the bed because my legs had gone weak.

Diana?

I’m here. Her voice was quieter than it had been only hours ago.

Maybe Liam would talk him out of it. Maybe Kade would come upstairs and tell me he had panicked. The hope rose before I could stop it, and I hated it for that. I couldn’t sit there waiting for him to decide whether I was worth a chance.

I pulled a hoodie over my head, shoved my feet into my shoes, and opened the window. The low section of roof beneath it had been my escape route more than once when I was younger. Tonight I climbed down without making a sound, and the cold autumn air hit my face like a slap.

I could have gone to Chloe’s, but there would be questions, and Noah would show up five minutes later, and Liam would find me before I knew what I wanted to say. I needed somewhere no one expected anything from me, so I headed for the forest.

The lights of Moonhaven disappeared behind the trees. Dew had already gone cold on the grass, my breath showed faintly in the air, and fallen leaves crackled softly under my shoes. Everything smelled different now that Diana was awake: damp earth, bark, the river somewhere ahead.

And Kade.

His scent seemed lodged inside me, cedar and cold night air, and I hated how badly I wanted to turn around and follow it.

He will come after us, Diana said.

I knew. Part of me wanted him to, which was worse.

I walked faster and made it as far as a fallen tree near the river before my body gave up. My first shift had left every muscle aching, and my legs finally refused to carry me any farther. I sat down on the trunk and wrapped my arms around myself, and for a long while neither Diana nor I said anything.

Then I asked the question I had been trying not to think.

Why would the Moon Goddess choose him if he doesn’t want us?

I don’t know.

My throat tightened. Maybe he’s right.

A growl rolled through my mind. No.

I don’t know how to be a Luna.

Neither does anyone, before they learn.

I closed my eyes. It sounded so simple when she said it.

Kade had known me almost my entire life. He knew how much I loved Moonhaven. But when he pictured me beside him, none of that had mattered. All he had seen was what I lacked.

A branch snapped behind me, and I froze, until Liam’s scent reached me a second later.

“Abby!” He crashed through the trees first, and the relief on his face lasted exactly as long as it took him to see that I was in one piece. Then it turned to anger. “What the hell were you thinking?” He crossed the distance between us and pulled me to my feet.

“I needed air.”

“You climbed out the window.”

“You would’ve stopped me if I used the door.”

“Of course I would have!”

Despite everything, I almost smiled.

Then Kade stepped out of the trees behind him, and the bond flared the instant I saw him. Heat spread through my chest and Diana surged toward him. Knox answered, and for one terrible heartbeat I felt how badly his wolf wanted us.

Then Kade shut him away, and the warmth was gone.

I stepped out of Liam’s arms. “You came after me.”

“Of course I did.” Kade’s voice was rough. “You disappeared into the forest in the middle of the night.”

Liam looked from one of us to the other. “Let’s go home.”

“No.” I turned to face Kade fully. “I heard what you said.”

He let out a slow breath. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

A bitter laugh escaped me. “Would it be less true if I hadn’t?”

He didn’t pretend. “No.”

It hurt, but at least it was honest.

For a few seconds, nobody spoke. Then I asked the only question that mattered.

“Are you going to choose me?”

Kade’s lips parted, and nothing came out. I counted one second, then two, and that was enough of an answer.

I swallowed. “Then reject me.”

His head snapped up. “Absolutely not.”

That startled me. “Why?”

“Because I’m not doing this tonight. You’re exhausted, Abby. You shifted for the first time a few hours ago. Neither of us has had time to think.”

“You had enough time to decide I can’t be your Luna.”

The bond pulled violently between us. Diana reached for Knox, and his wolf answered with a desperate surge, and I took a step back before I could do something foolish like reach for him too.

“Abby,” he said, holding out a hand.

“Don’t.” My voice shook, but I kept going. “You can’t keep me tied to you while you figure out whether I’m good enough.”

“That’s not what this is.”

“Then tell me you choose me.”

He couldn’t. I watched him try and fail, and that hurt more than anything he could have said out loud.

“I don’t want to spend tomorrow wondering if you’ll change your mind,” I said. “Or next week. Or every time you look at me.”

Liam’s anger had drained away. He looked wrecked. “Abby, you don’t have to decide this tonight.”

“Kade already did.”

“I haven’t,” Kade said.

“You don’t want me, but you don’t want to let me go either.”

“I do want you.” The words came out raw and immediate. “But wanting you isn’t enough.” He dragged a hand down his face. “Whatever happens between us, Moonhaven is still your home. You’ll always be protected here.”

Protected. He offered it like a kindness, and it landed like a door closing.

“I don’t want you to protect me because you’re my Alpha. I wanted my mate.” My voice cracked on the word. “I wanted someone who would be happy when he found me.”

That silenced him. He looked away, and somehow that was worst of all.

Liam stepped closer. “Take the night, at least.”

I shook my head. “If we wait, I’ll spend the whole night hoping.” My voice dropped. “And I don’t want to hope anymore.”

Liam closed his eyes for a moment. Then he stepped back.

Kade and I faced each other.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” he said.

“You still made the choice for both of us.”

“Abby—”

“Do it.”

Knox fought him so hard that Kade’s power rolled out across the riverbank and stirred the dead leaves around his boots.

Please, Diana whimpered. I didn’t know whether she was begging him or me.

His eyes glistened, and for a heartbeat they flashed gold as Knox fought for the surface. Then the Alpha settled over his face like a mask.

“I, Kade Blackwell, Alpha of the Moonhaven Pack, reject you, Abigail Hayes, as my mate.”

The pain doubled me over. It tore through my chest from the inside, and Diana screamed. Liam reached for me, but I held up a hand. I had to finish it.

The bond stretched between us, fraying but still alive, and for one last moment I could feel everything he felt: pain, regret, want, Knox fighting him with everything he had. Beneath all of it lay Kade’s decision. Even now, he had chosen this.

I forced myself upright. His face looked almost as broken as I felt, but broken wasn’t the same as changed.

I swallowed against the pain.

“I, Abigail Hayes of the Moonhaven Pack, accept your rejection.”

The bond broke.

It didn’t fade or loosen. It snapped, clean as a bone, and the silence it left behind was louder than the pain. For one last second I felt Knox reaching for us across the gap. Then there was nothing where he had been. Nothing where Kade had been.

Diana?

She didn’t answer.