Chapter 37

"What do I do?" I ask, my heart is beating wildly in my chest. I can't see him just yet. Three days is not nearly enough to gather my senses. But I also can't refuse to see him now that he has asked. That would be weird.

"Go?" Ashley answers with a question.

"Ugh." I groan.

"I am like seventy percent sure he is not calling you up there to talk about it." Ashley offers. I feel sick to my stomach with dread.

"And the thirty percent?"

"Deny it. Say you don't remember." Ashley says and I manage to force out a laugh.

"Yeah right." I whisper. I am so fucked.

But what is the worse that can happen anyway?

He is definitely not calling me to tell me he loves me too and we should get married and live happily ever after. I am self aware enough to know that that is not how this ends for us. It breaks my heart and I don't like thinking that far ahead but it is what it is.

He is forty one, he has a better handle on his emotions compared to me. Not tha