Chapter 283. Only if

'I loved you all with all my heart and soul, but that poisonous snake, that was born in that afternoon within me, in that motel, on that bed, never let me express any love. I just had one thing in me. That was venom. And I wanted your grandfather to drink that venom. And die so painfully just like I die day and night on seeing my rapist roaming around this house. I tried, I tried giving you all the love, but I always failed because that man would appear in my eyes, reminding me of what I was living for. I was not living to give love, rather distribute that venom so my inner poison could alleviate. That poison which sickens me with every breath I take. Which makes breathing difficult for me. Living difficult for me. Death an easier resort for me. Your grandfather knew the man who took away Jaha Ara's innocence. But he said nothing. Remained quiet. Considered it as my punishment for rejecting the proposal of his son. So how can Jaha Ara be normal after going through this? I never want