Chapter 107

The beginnings of a panic attack overwhelm me. I leap up, fully submerged in emotional madness and regret, and run to my room. I slam the door, lock it behind me, and brace myself against it, panting, unable to reel in the chaos inside me.

I let him kiss me. I allowed him to have sex with me. I let him touch me in places with his mouth no one ever has. How can I go back to normal after this? How can I rewind and delete what happened? It’s monumental. It changes everything between us, how I feel about him.

He pounds the door behind me a minute later, causing me to jump and hold the handle tightly. My heart races in sudden fear. I just can’t face him.

“Emma, open the fucking door.” He sounds livid.

“No.” If I do, I’ll break, and I can’t break; I must stay strong. I need to distance ourselves until I can grasp what we’ve done.

“You’re being childish; we need to talk about this.” He’s enraged, and it just closes me down more.

“Why?” I spit. So he can