Chapter 71

Arry pulls me off the swing into his arms, and even though I am crying, I go rigid in his hold. I don’t feel like being consoled by anyone. He ignores it and still cradles me against him on the grass awkwardly.

“I can’t imagine what you feel, only how I do. I don’t know how to help you with this, but I don’t want to deal with this apart. We’re stronger together, we always have been, and making me leave you alone will only make this worse for both of us.” He sounds desperate, but it makes me more stubborn in this. His resistance making that part of me who knew he wouldn’t listen rile up to defy him.

“I don’t know how to feel, Arry. Therefore I don’t know how to deal with your feelings in this. You hurting and being sad makes me feel guilty; it’s a vicious circle. I can’t deal with it, and I can’t deal with how we are around each other for the time being. We need to take a real break from each other, no contact.”

It almost kills me as soon as it comes out of my mouth