Chapter 113

Rage bubbles inside as I storm around.

I don’t want this; I don’t want the pressure of him buying me a house, playing happy families with all these people who matter so soon. Not yet, not when everything is still so new, and I still feel so insecure all the time. And what about work?

I know for a fact he won’t want me to fly to the city and take up my old position. He barely wants to go back himself lately, and moving here will make it final. The truth is that I thought my insecurities would change, that I would have some epiphany that I was finally with the man I would be with forever, and they would all go away. That I would be happy to be kept by him, but all the doubts, fears, and insecurities have remained. And I wonder if I am destined to be plagued with them forever and if Jake will tire of my insecurities and leave me.

My insecurities won’t allow me to think beyond right now, when Marissa’s baby comes, or think of Jake and me in any long-term sense. I can o