Chapter 20

“I need to know what you were thinking, how far it went. It’s all that goes through my head all the time. You and her and I can’t bear it.” I don’t hide my tears, and my voice is trembling as much as my hands. He lifts his hands automatically, fisting them, and puts them back down. His urge to console me and touch me is torturing him as much as his closeness is torturing me.

“I wasn’t thinking, Emma. There was just rage and mess and a lot of pent-up anger. The more wasted out of my head I got, the less logical everything became. It could’ve been any girl. It just happened to be her. She appeared almost out of nowhere and was trying to get me to talk to her. I don’t remember much of what happened, only her kissing me, and I didn’t stop her for a minute. Jesus, this is so hard to say to you.” His voice breaks, his body tense beside me, yet I stay focused on my lap.

“I need to know. I need to hear all of it,” I whisper, tears coursing down my face. My heart has finally met