Chapter 24

Maybe the motion of the car and Jake being the one in control somehow make it feel better. It means I can take time out from life while he focuses on the road, and maybe we can listen to music and not talk.

I don’t want to talk. I’m scared that if I start talking about everything, about her and the baby, if she still means anything to him and our life, then it will all come crashing painfully in on me like a fragile tower of cards. Today I want quiet and calm and to be with him. The past few days have taken a toll; this little respite is like a breath of warm air in the frost. I want a time out, and nowhere in the rules of whatever this is does it say that I can’t have that.

“Okay… Your wish is my command, beautiful. Do you need me to take you to Queens for clothes first?” His fake jovial tone makes me falter, and I hate that it’s not genuine, that we’re hurting each other this way. I inhale heavily, trying to get at least one breath that isn’t laced with pain.

“La