Chapter 110

And I liked that he hugged me; it served to fill me for a moment with the subtle aroma of his aftershave cologne. I would have liked my nostrils to be filled with the smell of his skin, pure and natural, and not with that of a perfume capable of hiding it.

I wasn’t going to complain, anyway, because he was there and his presence alone calmed me down.

How did I become so dependent on him?

I became quiet and lost when Ivan was not there, and the silence of the house without the children was almost ghostly; it became more and more unbearable. My perception of life was complex, but I did not go back to therapy; I felt like that would take them away from me forever. Kit and Kim, with their barking and those of their adorable babies, were a balm that made everything a little more bearable. Even my goddaughter was a gift that made me smile, and I was quite happy with my career, busy with a thousand little things. Everything served to mask a reality that was becoming incre