Chapter 5. No Right

Ruth's words keep roaming around in my head.

'We are strong.' I may decide to stay with Jasper and be strong. Maybe one day, the Moon Goddess will bless us with a pup after all and then everything will be all right. My heart beats like crazy at the idea that I would carry Jasper's pup and thus regain the respect of his family and our pack. Everything would be fine again the day I announced I was pregnant. And Jasper will be over the moon, throwing a big party that will last for days.

But if another year passes without a pup. When the Full Moon reappears at the Lupercalia Festival and Jasper has to leave his pack members at the cave again without participating in the mate hunt. All because his mate doesn't have a wolf to chase or a pup to continue his bloodline. Everyone's humiliation, my shattered self-respect and the feeling of having failed once again will be unbearable.

'We are strong,' echoes again in my head.

Lost in thought, I walk through the hallways of the packhouse before bumping into Louise, Jasper's sister. "Watch where you're walking, human!" she bites to me. "What do you think about all the time? You don't have pups to worry about and you don't have to worry about the bread on the table. Walking around like an empty-headed mannequin with no responsibility is all you do." I remain silent, make a turn around her and walk further to Jasper's office. I still fight to keep the tears inside when I stand at his door. Louise has once again succeeded in stepping on my soul. If she only knew what hole her comments punched in my heart, I'm sure she would think twice before uttering them.

"Rain, come in, my love," Jasper calls firmly on the other side of the door. "I sense your sorrow in the mate bond. What happened, who hurt you?" From the tone of his voice, I can hear that the culprit of my poor mood awaits no good. But I don't want the Alpha family against me any further so I will have to distract Jasper with another story. I push open the door and step inside. With a watery smile, I walk over to him and sit on his lap. "No, no one made me sad, Jasper. I just came from my parents. Ruth is turning eighteen in a few months and she would rather not mate yet. She wants to study medicine in Human Town and come back to be the pack doctor," I tell him. "But she doubts her mate will be allowed to go with her and the pack's scholarships only go to those with the highest grades. And she is the third highest so she wouldn't qualify. It's so much to deal with".

Jasper looks at me attentively.

"Hmmm, indeed, I've received the college results and Ruth is just barely eligible for a scholarship. And besides, there is a risk that her mate is from a different pack, so I don't decide if she can leave for Human Town. Does she have any idea who her mate might be?" I shake my head. "No, I don't think she's exploring that either. But I strongly feel it's the son of the former Beta, John," I indicate. "I often see him near my parents; he helped my father fix his car last week. I think he just used that as an excuse to meet Ruth".

Jasper looks at me with delight.

"John is a great guy. He's nineteen already, so he already knows if Ruth is his mate. Yes, I think you're right," he exclaims madly. "John is ready for University but hasn't yet given any indication of when he wants to leave or what his interests are. I have this idea that he is waiting for Ruth," he finishes thoughtfully. And then he turns to me.

"Don't be sad. When the time comes and Ruth isn't qualified for the scholarship, we'll pay for her studies ourselves, for both of them. We are a family and it is our duty to take care of each other," he comforts me as he wipes my face and plants a kiss on my lips. Ecstatic, I fall around his neck. "Jasper, no matter what happens, know I will always love you. You are the love of my life," I swear to him. I feel him tighten. "Rain! What is this? It looks like you're saying goodbye to me," he exclaims tensely. "What is it, baby? You know you can tell me anything". He holds me off for a moment to look me in the face.

My heart feels heavy.

"As I sat talking to my sister like this, I realized we don't have these worries. We don't have pups to think about their future, their further studies or mating," I say softly. "You don't have a successor, I can't even gift you a pup to take all this work off your shoulder later." I suppress my tears now, I don't want to be weak in front of him. "Rain, can you tell the future? Do you know the Moon Goddess' deliberations?" he asks in a soothing voice. "Selene knows why she brought us together and also knows why she is delaying our pups. I bow to her decisions; she knows what is right for the pack and me. And I know you are perfect for me, I want no other," he assures me. Upon hearing these words, a broad smile crosses my lips.

"But what if we don't get pups, Jasper? What will happen to you and the pack?" I point out to him. "The respect for you among the other alphas will wane and the pack will challenge your authority. Just because you have a Luna who not only doesn't shift but can't provide a successor". As I tell him all this, I feel a stone in my stomach. Guilt and desperation take over.

"Leave that to me. I know what to do when the time comes. Selene herself will show me the way," he declares firmly.

I close my eyes and embrace him, resting my head on his shoulder. I don't want to be my mate's weakness but his strength.

As hard as this will be, I have no right to drag Jasper to ruin....