Chapter 14

‘I felt good when he touched me.’

"I didn't!"

"I didn't!"

"I didn't like it!"

"I hate it! I hate you!"

I continued to cry as I felt extreme dislike and revulsion for myself to find this disgusting intimacy pleasurable.

"I didn't like it.." I said as I leaned on the door, letting the tears fall down.

I looked down and after a few seconds, I began to scratch where he touched me. I let out loud sobs of dejection.

"I didn't like it."

"I didn't like it."

"I didn't like it."

I repeated those words like a mantra so that they could give consolation to me but to no avail as I began to lacerate my shoulders and arms so that the feeling of being touched by him would be obliterated.

“I don’t need your softness!” I continued to scratch until red marks were formed all over in my left shoulder and arm.