Chapter 4

With Liam’s request with regards of drinking those Chinese herbs in hopes that I could get pregnant, I did it against my will. If I let my stubbornness prevail again, I’m only bringing myself closer to danger. I’m human too... I still feel pain by Liam’s hand and leg blows every time he loses his temper.

“Your Mama Imelda will come later, Kris,” said Mother Minda from the kitchen while I was in the living room watching TV. From here, her voice reached its peak, adding that the two of us were the only ones at home since Sarah went to school and Liam went to the hospital early. “Didn’t you promise her that the next time she comes here you will cook her kare-kare?”

“Well, until now I still haven’t gotten the mixture right. I often put too much peanut butter. She might criticize my cooking again just in case,” I answered indifferently while still focusing on what I was watching.

That happened last year. It was my birthday and when I promised my mother-in-law that I would cook her a delicious Paella, I agreed... she only criticized it because it tasted too salty. I wonder what kind of wife I am if just cooking simple food is very difficult for me to do. Such embarrassing insult I’ve received from her that night and I promised myself that I would never do it again.

Well, I don’t really have any talent in cooking. I’ll just waste my energy studying, besides I’m the one who hates oil, spoons and pans.

“You and Liam have been married for over a decade, dear,” replied Mother Minda who looked like she was done washing the dishes. She went to the living room and sat on a single-seater sofa where she could clearly see my face. “It’s not bad if you make efforts to reconcile with your mother-in-law.”

“I won’t expect her heart to soften towards me anymore.” My attention shifted to Mother Minda and as much as I could, I tried to make the smile on my lips better. “From the day I forced them to adopt Sarah as their own grandchild, I know I hurt her too much. Despite my deep reason as to why I wanted to adopt Sarah is because I want to make our family whole and happy, I might say she doesn’t care about where I’m coming from. And from that moment, I knew she started her hate towards me.”

That’s why mom can’t accept Sarah as a granddaughter. She has always been against my plan to adopt a child from an orphanage. Fortunately, I forced Liam to agree... so because of Sarah, Liam and I’s dream family became complete, and in fact he even wanted us to form a basketball team. However, that might be impossible because my womb don’t cooperate.

“You can’t blame Madam Imelda if she feels bad for you. If you had just continued taking the herbs you are taking now, or agreed to surrogacy, maybe your relationship with your mother-in-law would have been better .”

“I can endure drinking herbs,” I muttered in between laughs, “but surrogacy? A baby is not food to be placed on any woman’s ovary. That is something I cannot do in the name of having our own child.”

I took the remote from under my butt because I didn’t realize that I was sitting on it. And then I turned off the TV before getting up from my relaxing seat.

“Don’t even mention to Liam that I’m leaving today,” I begged. “I just have to make sure that Liam has no signs of having a mental disorder.”

Her face showed disapproval. “Why are you insisting that Liam has a mental problem? Didn’t I already tell you—”

“You can’t blame me for suspecting him of having a mental disorder. You’re not the one he’s hurting, that’s why you couldn’t notice how his behavior changed from time to time.”

“Mother Minda…” I came closer to her to touch her already rough palms. A forced smile curved my lips as I continued speaking, “I’m doing this to save our family and… our relationship. I’m his wife… and I’m responsible for taking care of his health. For now that his condition isn’t that bad, if anything, then we can treat him.”

“Believe me or not… I really don’t want to devastate our relationship… and our family. I love them both. I love Liam despite the way he hurt me. I have loved him as much as I loved him in the old days.”

“My love for him remained despite him breaking his promises to me on the day I said ‘yes’ to his proposal... and on the day I said ‘I do’ to him on our wedding day.”

“So, please… don’t let Liam know that I left the house today. I just have to do this for his own sake. Please?”

And the good old woman did nothing but let me out. I have trust in her that she will not say anything to my husband about this. That’s why I left the house early to meet my psychiatrist friend. I did not inform Mother Minda that the friend I was about to meet is a guy. For sure, she’ll never allow me to go out because she knows once Liam finds out I’m meeting a guy, whether he’s just my friend, I know my husband well. He can kill without mercy.

First of all, most of my friends are boys. So, Liam strictly forbids me to meet them. He makes even my friends jealous... and he’s so suffocating. Even my contact details to them, Liam got rid of those. Phone numbers, and even my social media accounts. That was all deleted. Even creating a social media accounts, I don’t have freedom.

That’s how jealousy turned my husband to be the man I’m not expecting him to be.

***

“Carrying so much anger, it’s like you’re losing yourself. Is that so?”

I nodded. “And after he realizes he has abused me, he will suddenly asked Mother Minda to imprison him in his study room. As if he’s stopping himself from harassing me.”

“Uhm, Kris,” Logan’s terrified voice was all I heard. “This is the only thing I could advise you as of now...”

“What?”

“Dissociative Identity Disorder is very rare.” I just remained silent, waiting for him to explain that disorder further. “And I think your husband seemed to be diagnosed with having this disorder. These people have many personalities... and maybe the abusive one is the other side of Liam.”