Chapter 119

Actually, I wish I was mad at Bella, or perhaps myself but I'm not. I'm not angry at all, but there's a very sharp pain in my chest and it gets stronger every time I think about this afternoon. It pierces my heart to recall it, my heart is grows more weary with every tear drop. I don't cry anymore, my penchant for suppression of emotions doesn't allow me to cry ever so often. Yet, here I am, in my mothers kitchen, crying my eyes out at one in the morning. It's his fault, just as I've held myself accountable for my altercation with Bella, I am holding him responsible for my aching heart. His words from earlier hurt me, they've kept me awake, every time I try to go to sleep they haunt me back to consciousness. 

My heart hasn't been out there for a very long time but the moment he walked back into my life, I could feel it beating again. Oftentimes I would forget I had one, with the exception of some nights that instilled fear to raise my heartbeat but ever since I saw Caelum