Chapter 4

What’s scarier than having a nasty hangover and waking up lost in a new room?

The severe headache that seemed like ripped right rip my head in half made me cringe. I fought to lean against the headboard and was on the verge of screaming when I saw how completely nude I was behind the covers. A white singlet that appeared to be crammed out of the blankets caught my attention. It was not mine when I held it. I peered around the disorganized room.

Oh my God!

Realizing that a man must have been in this room with me made me feel weak to the core. I grimaced as I felt my face being burned by hot tears. What was more frightening was the door which I presumed to be the bathroom’s creaked open and my eyes met with a pair of blue ones, a couple of inches away from me. My heart raced, my eyes widened and my mouth was agape, as I stared at the stranger.

“Who are you?” I croaked out the question, glancing out the sheets with disappointment marring my features. He seemed confused as to why I was asking him that.

I noticed the bare-toned muscles of his upper half with boxers on his waist. I stared at him before lowering my gaze trying to make sense of everything.

“What did we—”

“It is what it is,” He answered before I could finish asking my question and he ran his hand through his messy chestnut hair. He looked calm and he sounded disinterested in having the conversation.

My lips formed an ‘oh’ shape and my stomach sank to the deepest pit of my stomach. A sob escaped my lips as the soreness of my nether region sifted through me as I tried to stand up. I caught sight of my gown lying on the floor, and my net underwear a few inches away from the gown. My face burned with embarrassment as memories from last night flooded through my night.

I made a straight line for the door. The door clicked close behind me and I felt settled for a while. I could no longer feel the icy stare of that young man digging holes at my back as I stalked. I released ragged breaths as I trudged towards the counter, letting go of my gown and heels I had held. I took in my reflection and I wished I hadn't done that. It reminded me of how reckless I had been last night.

Messy.

That was the word that described how I looked. My hair, makeup and overall outlook looked messy. My hair was tangled, my makeup smudged, and my lipstick was even merely visible just streaks of red running around my lips. A tear slid down my cheeks as I asked myself, how could I have done this?

I would never have guessed in a thousand attempts that this would be the way I would lose my virginity. I would never have guessed that I'd lose my virginity to a mere stranger I had met at the club. I had always pictured having my first sex in a bathroom decorated with red roses on my wedding night. I had shared that dream with Jake and we had agreed to make it happen like that. But today, I had found out it was impossible, I had given my virginity to a mere stranger.

How could I have done this to myself?

I had been tempted many times to need to succumb to my lustful desires but somehow, I had managed to sail through them. My mind was thrown apart in conflicting thoughts. What if he didn’t use a condom? How would I mother a child? And my mother was against abortion after her sister had done an unsuccessful one that had cost her life. How would I face Jake? Sometimes when we quarrelled, he said I cheated on him, how would he react to this if he found out? I pressed my lips together and started wiping my face with the tissue I saw on the counter, willing to look more pleasant amid this chaos.

I tried packing myself properly into a bun, wearing my clothes and my heels. I rinsed my mouth since I wouldn’t bother taking a full bath.

Then, I prepared myself for the next awkward moment. Carefully, I opened the door without making any sound and peeked through it. To my greatest relief, the room was empty. I stepped into my room and glanced around the room for my purse which I found on the floor, next to the bedside. I sat on the bed, rummaging through my purse to search for my phone. I wanted to call Amy to inform her of everything that had happened. Then, I noticed a business card resting on the bed. I grabbed it, without hesitation, and shoved it into my purse.  Perhaps he had forgotten it. Could it be that he wanted me to give him a call?

I received weird glances from the people working in the house but I didn’t care. My problem was bigger than that. I hurriedly left the house before I could gather more attention. I flagged a cab and quickly told the driver my direction to which he nodded, indicating that he was familiar with the place. Once I settled in, memories from last night washed over me like a hurricane. I raced up the stairs and found the door slightly open. On noticing my presence, Amy rushed to hug me. “I know you took my advice.” She chirped and winked.“So how was it?” She asked, squeezing me tighter.

When she saw that I was stoic, she held me at arm's length. “You don’t look fine. What’s wrong?” She enquired and led me to sit on the couch in silence. The silence hung over the air like a dark cloud of darkness. At that moment, I knew she already knew there was a fire on the mountain.

Run, run, run. My subconscious mocked.