Chapter 101

We spent the morning inside. I shared with them the story of my cousin's mental illness. They didn't know what to say, but then neither did I.

"Perhaps," Rose said, "it is the stress of worrying about the child that broke you."

I shook my head, "I don't know. It felt like I was excited about something and then I was so sad when I couldn't make it happen. My world just fell apart. It might have been about the baby, I just don't know. I felt deserted."

My mind was mine all day, no weird intrusive feelings. I felt lonely now that they were gone, there had been something comforting about them. Part of me wanted them back, I needed those feelings for some reason.

I went to bed that night and had a dream about picking out baby cribs by myself. It was boring and annoying. There was no good crib in the store and I just wandered around aimlessly. It was a pointless dream.

Waking up, I realized I wanted to dream about the mountains or learning to fight. I love