Addiction Series: Silent Addiction. Book 2

You know that feeling that settles in your heart, ripping away every single smile and happiness within you?

The feeling of loneliness covering up every corner of your heart, like a dark web, suffocating you.

All the cubicles of your heart sink into the deep flows of pain.

It changes your facial expression to sadness.

All your feelings mold into only that one of depression.

It hurts more when there’s someone on your mind, someone you regret having ever left that one time.

Every time her dangerously toothy beautiful smile played in front of your eyes, you could hear every normal part of your heart crush more brokenly. The feeling of her every laugh vibrating through your body like lady bugs crawling for food, the beautiful memories, making you smile for a few minutes before drowning you back in sadness.

Everyone could think Mariana was crazy ever since she woke up, the way she always saw her late daughter in every corner of the room where and called it loneliness, no one could even agree with her on that.

She had distanced herself away from everyone that cared about her, those that always gave up their time to show her how much they cared and loved her. To her, it never changed a thing. It had never taken away the traumatic dreams or the pictures of her daughter lying in deep shades of blood from ever appearing to her again.

And even when she woke up in a different place and room, she preferred to be in the doors of this room. Away from the judging eyes of the people just outside this room.

Even after four years, the death of Beryl was eating her up, slowly day by day, like a virus feeding on her blood.

As she sat on the cold floors with her knees brought up to her chest, the white long-sleeved shirt was like a dress to her, but she really never cared. Her blue eyes admired the snow, the way it fell from the sky without any worry about how it will land on the floor. Its white color reflected pure innocence and elegance in front of her eyes. She seemed not ready to look away even when she had the room door make squeaking sounds as it was opened. In fact, she didn’t even bother to look just as Marco walked in.

Mariana was not finding any use in her life anymore, or was she just so eager to join Beryl? She had lost weight in the past months faster than anyone could. She could even feel her bones through her own skin. Everything seemed too much for her. She had decided to bury most of her life at the back of her mind. She didn’t talk. She never smiled. Crying was all she did that seemed normal.

Darkness was all she could see in her dreams, thoughts, and memories. It had changed the color of her heart and mind from normal to black.

“Hey, “Marco whispered, sitting on the bed where she had been lying a few hours ago. Her eyes moved away from the snow as she turned her head slightly to look at him. His white-sleeved shirt, hanging loose with the first four buttons not done, and neither was it tucked in his slacks. His brown hair was disorganized, and his dark thick stubble stood out, highlighting more of his beauty.

She stared at him, he didn’t look like Valente, but even after he had saved her, she didn’t trust him.

Images of when Valente’s fingers wrapped around her neck, choking her to death during her pregnancy, came rushing back to her, making her close her eyes and turn her head away from Marco’s view. She breathed in and out through the aching pain in her heart, one thing Valente would be proud of. He had broken her to the core.

To her, it was hard to be mended. When a bottle of wine falls to the floor shattering into tiny pieces, the glasses can’t be put together, and even if you managed to collect the wine from there, it would be hard to drink it. She was that glass shattered beyond repair.

Marco stood up on the balls of his feet and took tiny steps towards her. He didn’t want to scare her and cause fear in her beautiful glassy eyes. He stopped just in front of her and sat down, bringing his legs to his chest too, and looking outside the window to see what she exactly was looking at.

Her eyes held nothing. They were not cold or anything. They just held emptiness. He could see her brokenness. Like she had already given up on life already. Her beautiful face displayed nothing. He wondered if she could speak cause he wanted to know her more.

He remembered the way he found her, the rain soaking her to the core, and her wedding dress wasn’t even doing anything to protect her. He had more questions in his mind than anything else, but due to her quietness, he didn’t know exactly where to start.

Ever since she woke up, she didn’t even say a single thing when her eyes came in contact with the window. She just got off the bed and went to sit next to it.

Every white thing attracted her now. She wished she was like them, innocent and pure, but she was far tainted and broken.

Marco stared at her outlining every inch of her beauty. She had beautiful hazel blue eyes, light brown thick waves, and slightly pink lips. He wondered if she ever smiled or would she if he made her too.

A few strands of hair fell down her face, almost covering her left eye, but that didn’t stop her from watching the snow.

Marco raised his hand to put them back behind her ear, but she didn’t let him. She flinched away in fear. She pushed herself far away from him in the corner nearby, pulling her knees to her chest once more and her arms around herself as she started rocking back and forth while a few tears started to roll down her flushed cheeks.

His hand folded into a fist as he brought it down. He pulled himself up and looked at the snow one more time. Maybe he shouldn’t have come into this room after all. Now he had ruined the piece she got from just watching the snow. He turned around and decided to get out of there.