Chapter 4

I’m in Love

“Good morning, Amelia,” my doctor said excitedly, it was so unusual to see Mrs. Jones like this, especially in the mornings.

I guess the news of me accepting treatment did the magic.

I thought things through last night, and I realized that if Gale was here, he would want me to do this.

And I would like to find my lost peace someday, I knew I couldn’t face my past yet, and cowardly I came and hid here, in a hospital but what was I to do then.

I thought about Rebecca, I just couldn’t believe that I loved that girl like a sister and Kenneth, I had nothing to say when it came to him.

Well one day I could go back to them and give them back all the love they showed me.

Most of the time, I wish I had noticed what was going on. It was there in front of me, but I was blind, until the damage was done.

“Morning too, doc,” I sat up and pushed my thoughts at the back of my mind.

Mrs. Jones moved to the window and pulled the curtains apart, then turned to me with a confident smile.

“How was your night?”

I said huskily with a friendly smile, “It was fine, have you found a donor yet?”

She shook her head, and my smile fell, “I told you, Mel, it’s going to be hard unless you can find your family in twenty four hours...”

“Okay, I understand. And chemotherapy?” I leaned back, staring into space.

I wasn’t ready to face my family, especially if I am to beg them for a bit of treatment.

I wanted them to regret leaving me, not to pity me.

“We can start tomorrow, Amelia. It’s your decision.”

“I will think about it, Mrs. Jones, and get back to you soon.”

Mrs. Jones reached out for my hands holding them in hers, my eyes locked with hers, “It makes me so happy to see you take such a step, I’m proud of you, Amelia.”

I suddenly felt guilty, ever since I was admitted here Mrs. Jones has been like a mother figure in my life. She had tried to convince me multiple times to take treatment, but I was too broken to understand.

My green orbs became glossy, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, baby, I can understand. I should get back to work,” she let go of my hands and walked away wiping her tears.

I stared out the glass window, it was windy. It felt like my life, cold and lonely.

I just don’t know if I will ever be able to move on, if I can forget the people that hurt me that easily.

I’m not sure I can stand up again without his support, I wasn’t confident like before.

I wasn’t the famous Amelia Rose, the lawyer that never lost a court case. I am just a broken girl battling with Cancer.

Later a nurse walked in and helped me shower and dress up then she purchased food for me as usual before leaving.

I never thought that the day when I would learn how to read the bible, would come soon.

I don’t know why or how but I felt like I really needed to go back to God.

The God that Mother Pauline told me about. The God that never fails.

With every verse I read, I felt like I could hear Mother Pauline’s voice reading it to me. I miss her so much.

Someone knocked and I looked up at Brenda, A slow smile graced my lips. She stood in the door in an office attire and I urged her to come in.

“You look nice,” I stated as I closed my Bible, putting it away.

“So are you, how are you?” She finished the last part turning to me with a smile.

“I’m good, and you?”

“Well, I’m okay... So is there anything you want to tell me“ She questioned while taking a seat on the couch in the room.

“Yes, well, I was thinking last night, and I guess I should give treatment a chance.”

“Really?” she questioned, and I nodded. “That’s great, Mel, I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you.”

“Can we continue? I have another client to handle later in the afternoon.”

I nodded. I leaned back against the pillows and closed my eyes.

I’m glad that when I asked Brenda to let me tell my story, she agreed.

The more things I revealed made me feel like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Without wasting time, I continued...

***

Hearing Gale say that he loved me was something I couldn’t get out of my mind, I wished I could just stop thinking about it for a minute.

I kept rolling in bed multiple times trying to sleep but I failed miserably.

I had no other option but to give up and decide to stare at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing in my room.

I felt like a voice clip of Gale saying that he loves me was inserted in my head.

But to be sincere those words had triggered something in me, it felt my thoughts towards him had changed.

The way I see him has technically changed.

There was something that was failing to click in, maybe I had feelings for him but how could that be when I can’t even describe what love is.

I felt like my thinking about it was complicating everything I felt but I just couldn’t stop.

I suddenly remembered that one day when Patricia talked about the way Gale looks at me, but me being me, I never took it seriously.

Now, I remember Gale always looked at me like I was some kind of treasure, and it definitely scared me.

How could I have been so stupid to not notice what was going on, yet he always did his best to show it to me.

Gale didn’t just start loving me yesterday, it was going on for a while now.

I don’t remember how but I finally slept off.

A week passed and I didn’t hear from Gale which is new when it comes to him.

But I was sure he was staying intentionally and it hurt a bit.

I tried his phone twice, but he never took my call, I had hurt him.

Though I was curious if I will ever see him again, he didn’t join us for our usual Saturday nights. It was just me and Rebecca.

I tried to pry any information from Rebecca but I got the opposite.

She told me she hadn’t seen him all week and his phone had been switched off.

My mood fell, and I started to feel a bit guilty of ever asking him to leave. But did he really have to leave? It’s like I meant it. I was just panicking.

I felt so confused on what to do next, I wondered if deciding to visit his dad’s hospital the next day would anger him.

I don’t know why but not seeing him on Saturday made me realize how much I miss him.

I was waiting all week just to see him on our Saturday night, so definitely I was a bit hurt.

Even though Rebecca was around, I preferred Gale. He was my shield.

The next morning I received a letter showing that I had been accepted into the law firm I always wanted, joy that filled my heart and I screamed at the top of my voice.

My dream of being a lawyer had started. I was so happy that I called up Rebecca informing her of the news, and she was thrilled because we would be working together.

We squealed so loudly on the phone, and she promised to come over later, so we could celebrate but then my mind drifted off to Gale.

I wanted to tell him all about this but before that I had to fix our friendship.

I called the diner and lied that I was sick.

I knew, deep down, that if I don’t talk to Gale, then I may lose him forever.

I was guilty about what happened that day and I wanted to mend everything by apologizing just to save our friendship.

I wasn’t realizing that I was ignoring the biggest elephant, I was being selfish. It was like I wanted Gale to forget about his feelings and be my friend.

But you can’t blame me, I had only two friends all my life.

During childhood, I was bullied by the rich kids because I was simply an orphan. I was beaten, pushed into lockers and many other things I didn’t want to remember.

So I guess I am desperate when it comes to friends. Gale and Rebecca had shown what true friends are like and I didn’t want to lose that.

It was the first time to have people who stayed by my side for two whole years without complaining or despising me for being an orphan.

Two people that never ceased to show me their love, care and support.

I guess that’s why my fight with Gale weighed so heavily on my shoulders, I couldn’t rest until I had settled everything.

I headed out of my apartment and took a cab to his father’s hospital. I remember Gale telling me that he would settle at this branch, and only hoped he was working today.

I knew that most people didn’t work on Sundays but doctors do, right?

The cab came to a halt and I had to step out.

I stood staring at the hospital building nervously, I wondered for the last time if by doing this I’m doing the right thing.

I realized a breath that I was holding, and urged myself to continue walking inside through the glass doors.

The hospital smell hit my nostrils hard, the white ceilings and walls weren’t trying to make me comfortable at all.

I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans when I realized that this was it, no going back.

Taking tiny steps towards the reception desk, the girl behind it looked up with a smile and asked me why I am here.

“I’m here to see Doctor Gale Hilton, please,” I said, softly my eyes roaming around the place hoping that I would just see him and skip this faze.

“Do you have an appointment?”

I turned back to the receptionist and shook my head no.

Her eyes narrowed at me and her smile disappeared instantly, it made me feel like I was trespassing.

I suddenly realized that this girl wasn’t going to let me see him, how could I convince her that I had to see Gale. I had to talk to him.

A man ran inside the hospital with a girl in his arms who was unconscious. I saw the nurses panic and rush towards him with a stretcher.

I was going to use this chance to go find Gale’s office myself but I halted when I saw him.

He was coming out of a room at the other end of the corridor, dressed in a black T-shirt and khaki pants with a white doctoral gown on.

I quietly watched as he removed his gloves and placed them in the pockets of the white coat before finally looking up. I saw something flicker in his eyes when they landed on me.

He looked away from me but I had noticed that he was trying to hide the hurt in chocolate eyes.

I started walking towards him with a smile. I yearned so much to talk to him, but he didn’t feel the same way.

He turned to walk away from me and I felt like a knife was cutting my heart into pieces. A lump formed in my heart and my vision blurred.

“Gale,” I said softly. My voice shook with emotions. He froze in place and I thought he would turn back to me, but he continued.

I bit a sob back, “Please...” I tried to convince him as a tear fell down my cheek, I lowered my eyes and wiped it quickly.

When I looked up again, he had to me, his expression had softened.

I never wanted him to see me cry but emotionally I wasn’t stable.

“Can… I talk to you please?” I said trying to make sure that my voice doesn’t break that much.

There were many people around but to me I felt like it was just the two of us.

My emerald orbs locked with his, and we stayed silent for minutes until he broke the contact and looked away.

“Come with me,” he replied and slowly a teary smile graced my lips.

Hearing his voice again made me realize how much I missed him.

Maybe he did miss too, I had noticed the bags under his eyes and I knew that it wasn’t just stress but something else.

I felt like hugging this man but I was scared.

My body shuddered as reality sunk in, I wasn’t looking at Gale as a friend anymore but a man that I was yearning to get close to.

Am I in love with Gale if not then why did it feel like that?

Why do I feel hurt when he ignores me? I feel pain when I see him hurt.

I smile when he smiles, I look at him like he is the most handsome creature on earth.

My heart beat changes whenever he is close or when I think about him.

I love Gale.

I’m in love with Gale.