Chapter 19

Ginger

"I don't know, I was scared. It was my first time, and I guess I wasn't ready for it yet. I was stupid for running away, and I was stupid for not telling you earlier. I realized it too late and thought, 'Damn it, Daniel must think I just wanted to use him and fuck him for all the money he has.' But I swear I never thought of you that way, and I'm so used to dealing with normal people that I even forgot you could think I did it for that reason.

I know I'm talking fast because Daniel seems to be processing everything when I stop. I don't know how to speak slowly when I'm nervous; I don't like stopping when I talk about important things because just being silent gives me anxiety, and I prefer to talk without stopping. I'm about to do it again, say something meaningless or say something that makes me feel like I'm calming the atmosphere because this silence that Daniel is creating is killing me, it's consuming me alive. Why is it so hard for him to sa