Chapter 4

While our History teacher was discussing, I didn't listen to him. My brain wasn't in class, it was busy traveling to the past, to the events earlier at Brent's house. Every time I think of Brent's audacity on my lips, I can't explain my feelings.

I would be a huge hypocrite if I continued to deny that I was thrilled by what happened to us. Apart from the excitement, I also felt fear and apprehension that Brent might spread to his friends and our classmates what happened to us earlier. I will be embarrassed. What are people going to say? That I'm an easy girl? I was just imagining the things that could happen and I was terrified.

I knew that as usual Brent was asleep in the middle of our class but I still simply turned to where he was sitting and I was surprised by what I saw. Because it is not sleeping, but wide open and seems to be listening to our teacher. I quickly turned about face because it would be embarrassing if he noticed me watching him.

Really? Why is he so active in class? Amazing!

For a few moments, I regretted looking at him because he caught me staring at him. Instead of focusing on our teacher, he turned his eyes to me and made eye-to-eye contact with me. I glared at him to make him look down first but he fought to look at me until I was the first to look back.

I wanted to break free but I couldn't as if I was hypnotized by his gaze on me. I signaled him to look down first but he didn't follow, instead, he just winked at me.

I don't want it anymore, it's enough, it's enough!

I apologized to our teacher and said goodbye to just go to the comfort room for a while. If I can't breathe fresh air, I might end up screaming. It's hard to keep everything to yourself. I want to share with my classmates what it feels like to be thrilled but I can't. I was afraid of being judged especially and Brent was the man who thrilled me. Why does he have such a bad reputation in our school, eh? I felt that he was not the most behaved person on the whole campus.

When I came out of the comfort room, I didn't expect to see Kevin. Maybe take a shower too, I said to myself. And as I told myself that Kevin was going to die, I ignored him. For several years that I patiently waited for him, it was just like that. Michelle even blamed me for not replying to her texts. Hmmm!

“Jamie,” I heard him calling me, but I didn't turn around and kept walking back to our room.

Ha, take care of your life. I don't have you anymore, Kevin _!

But Kevin was insistent and grabbed one of my arms when I ignored him. “What?” I looked at him and gave him a bad look.

“Are you crazy? Why did you go with Brent? You know what kind of man he is!” Kevin angrily questioned my decision to go with Brent.

“Well, I don't care! It's better to be called a bastard but nice in real life than to be nice but a demon!” I really listened to him face-to-face. He annoyed me, eh! He angered my sleeping curse.

“Am I talking about me? I wouldn't be surprised if you suddenly got pregnant and couldn't finish school!” Kevin said as if he cursed me. Maybe he thought he was a superhero!

What pregnant does this mean? Will I get pregnant? Oh, that's not possible. I was a little nervous especially since something happened with Brent and me earlier. He kissed me and I stupidly kissed him too.

I feel like I'm going to faint from fear. Dad might bite me when he finds out I've kissed a boy. I was very nervous. My whole body was cold and I felt like I was going to pass out from the fear. Kevin is really despicable, yes!

And because I was so worried, I didn't realize that Brent had come, the reason for Kevin and I's argument.

“Are you okay?” He asked me and led me to the canteen. He sat me down and left me for a while. When he came back, he already had a glass of hot water and gave it to me to drink.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Maybe you're hungry. After all, it's almost break time, let's just stay here. I've ordered something for us to eat. What, are you okay?” Based on Brent's voice, he seems to be really worried about me. It's a good feeling that a man is so caring. It was my first time experiencing it but it was very fulfilling.

“Brent, I might get pregnant from what we did earlier,” I whispered to him. But wait, why did he just laugh? After all, what can I expect from someone who always falls asleep in class?

“And who told you that?” He laughed as he asked me.

“Because Kevin said -

“And you believe him? Don't even think about what he's telling you. It's better to just eat this sandwich I ordered.” Brent proposed to me.

Sandwich and ice-cold Coke. Perfect for a snack. As Brent said, we didn't go back to class and just waited in the canteen for the bell to ring to signal our afternoon break.

Ten minutes later, the students came to have a snack. And since Brent and I finished eating, we didn't stay long in the canteen and then went back to our classroom. There were only a few left inside when we got back because the others were still outside the school having snacks.

Those of you who are fed up with canteen sandwiches every day will prefer to go out and buy something to eat.

I went straight to my seat and so did Brent, but after a few seconds, he came back and sat in the empty chair near me. I looked him in the eye and I couldn't see what they were saying as a bastard. All I see now in Brent is a man with a soft heart and kindness. I must be delirious as Kevin said.

“Brent, about what I said this morning that I had a crush on you, I want you to know that it's not true,” I confess because he is not really my crush.

“I know,” he replied.

Huh? How does he know? I guess it just makes me happy. “How did you know?” I asked.

“Because I know you're just trying to cover Kevin's hole for me. I've noticed for a long time that you like him. I thought that this way, I would have a friend.”

“Ah, you're just looking for a friend, I wish you'd told me right away.” He is annoying. Is there a friend kissing? And on the lips?

“Actually, you can be my friend or a girlfriend. Just choose between the two,” said the man.

Wow, this guy is really hot. It's like the only choice is food, ah. Hey, since this morning, something unexpected has happened in my life. “Wow. You really are the most handsome in the whole world,” I told him.

“I'm just kidding, eh? You're too serious. You're so beautiful, it's a shame if you get wrinkles on your face early. Smile there, to make you even more beautiful.” The fool even teased me and I, being a fool, believed what he said.

“Like this?” I tried to smile sweetly at him. In fairness to Brent, he is nice to talk to.

“Pretty. You should always be like that. You know, if you always smile, you'll be more beautiful than Michelle.”

“Shut up. Is it really necessary to include Michelle in our conversation? It's okay that I'm not beautiful, just don't compare me to her.” There is a hint of sullenness in my voice because I hate Michelle and I don't even like the beauty I have to compete with him.

“Fine, you're the boss. Wait, is break time almost over? Shall I drop you off later?” He asked permission to take me home.

“What's wrong with you? My Dad might even have a heart attack if I send a man to us, no.” I said but the truth is that I want to try to deliver to him. What is the feeling?

“Just bring it,” Brent insisted.

“I'll think about it fifty times,” I said and he suddenly laughed.

When I got home, I went straight to my room and immediately changed into my house clothes. I hate feeding our pet chickens. I also have to prepare our firewood in the morning.

When I finish my chores, I can go to the waterhole and chat with the neighbors who are there while fetching water. Just by seven o'clock in the evening, I should be home because we will have dinner together.

I went straight to the chicken coop and did not disturb my mother who was busy preparing our dinner. Where is Dad? I haven't noticed him before. I went to the chicken coop and gave them something to eat, then I went to our fire pit just off the kitchen. I noticed that there was firewood there so I went straight to the water. Carrying a bucket, my steps are fast toward the destination.

When I arrived at the water, I saw Kevin. It's also longing. Back then, every time we reached the water, I felt that we were really destined.

I just walked past him and ignored him, I heard his friends ask him why he said that I breathed him when we used to be very close. They even thought that Kevin and I did LQ. I approached Janice's group and joined their game of truth or dare while waiting for our turn to draw.

Every round of the bottle, I wished I wasn't the bet. After a few rounds, luck didn't favor me anymore. I was especially nervous and had been hiding things from my friends.

“Truth or Dare!” they asked me at the same time.

I thought that if I dare, what else might they ask me to do, what if they order me to approach Kevin and say hi, well, I'm not fooled.

“Truth,” I said.

“Here's the first question,” Janice thought for a moment before speaking again. “Hmmm, it's not allowed to lie. Because the liar will go to hell! Alright, here it is. Do you have a crush at your school?”

“Yup, of course. Are there any high school students who don't have crushes at school?” I passed the first question, only two left. We are used to doing three questions instead of one because each question has follow-up questions.

“Ruby, you will be the one to ask him,” Janice suggested to her cousin Ruby. The woman was a bit weak when it came to thinking so she looked up at the sky before formulating a question.

“Jamie, who was your first kiss?”

Huh? I was not addicted to what he asked me. Who else is my first kiss but Mom and Dad?

“Parents can't answer, it's not allowed.” Ruby reminded me. Can I just say that I have never experienced kissing?

“Hey, look at Jamie, o. She seems to be struggling to answer. Cousin, do you know what that means?” Ruby asked Janice and she immediately answered. “That means, he has already been kissed. Hmm, who is it? Jamie, answer the question because we have one more question and we might run out of time.”

“A classmate,” was my short answer.

“Hey, I think I know who that is. Kevin?” insisted Janice while looking in the direction of Kevin. I winced as I followed his eyes.

“No, ah. Never will I kiss Kevin!” I strongly denied that Kevin was my first kiss because it really wasn't.

“Are you LQ?” Janice's comment.

“Girls, aren't there only three questions? We're on to the next round,” I reminded them.

“You really cheated, Jamie. Tell us,” begged Ruby who was obviously hung up on my answer.

I just laughed at them. “Next time only when the bottle goes to me, okay?” I did all the distractions so they wouldn't tease me about my first kiss. Brent suddenly entered my mind. What is that man doing?

After I filled all our storage with water, I sweated a lot. Who doesn't sweat the volume of a storage tub? I also filled about five tubs with water and then my arms were shaking with fatigue.

I said goodbye to Janice and Ruby to go home because I was hungry. Carrying the bucket with only water, I whistled home.

“Mom, I'm here.” I was a few meters away from our house when I called Mother and informed her that I had arrived. That way, it will automatically prepare dinner on the table. I plan to go to bed early because I have a class the next day. I went straight to our small kitchen where our dining table was.

When I opened the kitchen, there was food on the table. “Mom, do you have a birthday?” I asked her when I noticed the fried chicken on the table. Usually, we only prepare chicken when there is an occasion like a birthday or graduation. Well, we're graduating next month, so I wondered if there was an occasion that I didn't know about.

“It's good that you have come, Jamie. We have a visitor,” my mother said.

I frowned because we rarely have visitors. “Huh? Who?” I asked.