Chapter 3

Tears kept running down my cheeks as I stumbled my way back to my bedroom. I couldn't get the picture of Tyler and Audrey out of my head. It was like a pain that wouldn't go away, deep inside me.

All the memories rushed in, hitting me like a wave. More tears wet my pillow. It was so hard to believe he actually ended our relationship. Despite how angry I was, I knew I couldn't just hate him.

I remembered the words he said. 

"She's a connection, but you're the one I love."

Like hell I am.

How could I possibly believe him? How?

Had he forgotten all the promises he made me? To never leave or betray me? How could he let it all go down the drain like that?

All the fucking promises. They felt empty now, like they didn't mean anything. I still wished that when I woke up, everything would be back to normal. I hoped this was just a really bad dream.

I managed to fall asleep, the exhaustion finally pulling me under. The last thing I remembered was Tyler's voice, his words hanging in the air.

"I think... we should break up."

And then it was all black.

***

The next morning, I found myself standing at the familiar training field. The air was crisp, and my heart was more than heavy. Jaxon joined me and concern was evident in his eyes. 

I knew what he would first ask me. He opened his mouth to ask about Tyler, but I cut him off. "I don't want to think about him, or any of that."

I got him wrong, apparently. "I wanted to ask how you're doing, Lily." He said with soft eyes.

I looked at him and almost broke into another session of crying but I sniffed my nose and nodded, faking a straight smile on my face. "I'm fine, I'm well."

We both looked at different directions because there wasn't much to be said at the moment. Jaxon knew I was super sensitive and the incident was still too recent to be talked about. 

"What I meant was that I don't want to talk about it, Jaxon." I clarified myself.

I was happy he was considerate and respectful. He nodded, and I could tell he got it from the way his face looked. "Alright. Let's focus on training then."

We sparred, the sound of our blades clashing and the effort of the fight sort of distracted me from my thoughts, just for a little while. But then, out of nowhere, I heard her voice. It was like Audrey's presence cast a shadow over everything. My whole mood changed in an instant. She brought all the bad feelings back, and the distraction from training was abruptly gone.

I observed Audrey, looking at her pretty face and how her luscious brown hair flowed around her. What exactly was it about her that made him choose her? Her eyes sparkled and her smile was warm but tenacious, and had a mischievous glint to it. I couldn't help but notice how she moved gracefully and seemed confident.

I watched closely, thinking about why Tyler liked her more. It wasn't just about how she looked, but maybe something about their connection confused me. I tried to understand it, to figure out what made her so special. Was it how she talked to Tyler, or how she made him laugh? I had paid attention to every little thing she did, hoping to find out what Tyler saw in her that I didn't have. Yet, she still succeeded and took him from me. 

Inside, I felt unsure about myself. But I also knew that relationships were complicated and not just about looks. As I looked at Audrey, I realized I wasn't defined by who someone else chose. I was just starting to learn more about myself, and I had a lot to offer beyond appearances. I shouldn't care about whether she was prettier than me or not. I shouldn't care about whether she was more graceful than me or not. But it did bother me that he chose her over me.

I flipped my hair sideways and turned my attention to cleaning my blade as she got nearer. Jaxon grumbled something which made me look at him then at her.

He then excused himself to the corner, leaving Audrey and me facing each other. She walked over, a smirk playing on her lips. "Oh, look who we have here. The little heartbroken girl." She then made annoying pitiful sounds.

I clenched my jaw and tried not to let her get to me. "Audrey, I don't have time for this or for you."

She laughed, the sound grating on my nerves. "Of course you don't. You're probably too busy crying over Tyler."

I took a deep breath, trying to keep my composure. "You can say whatever you want, Audrey. It doesn't change anything, neither does it affect me."

She leaned closer, and her voice sounded like she cared, but I knew she was pretending. "Aw, did I hit a nerve? Poor little Lily."

I closed my eyes, counting to ten in my head. "Audrey, just leave me alone."

Jaxon, sensing the tension, finally intervened. "Hey, it's a bit early for arguments, don't you think?"

Audrey huffed, shooting me one last smug look before walking away. I felt a bit relieved but also mad when she left. Jaxon came back to me, looking like he understood how I felt. "You okay?"

I shrugged, not trusting my voice at the moment. He patted my shoulder gently. "Let's go eat breakfast."

We made our way to the dining hall, and it smelled like food everywhere. It felt both nice and strange. We sat down, and I played with my food because I wasn't hungry at all. Jaxon pressured me to eat a chicken lap and drink some juice. My hunger had gone but not the pain.

***

Later, I found myself on the phone with Sarah, my bestie. I didn't want to talk about Tyler, so we talked about her coming to visit instead. We talked about her plans, and for a little bit, I felt kind of happy even though things were messed up.

"You haven't taken me to the new mall at Hempstead, babes. My mom gave me her credit card. That means shopping spree!" She squealed and my ear drums banged. I always loved her energy.

I laughed at Sarah's excitement. "Definitely, we'll hit the mall and go on a shopping spree like there's no tomorrow! I just hope my dad would give me his card too."

"Why won't he? He pampers you, babes. Plus, you're already an adult. You should have your credit card by now."

"My mom says I don't need one since I use hers." I played with my fingernails as I talked to her.

"That's BS." I rolled my eyes and giggled at her remark, "You'll need one when we go for a trip to Neraguah Resort next month. Noone to tell you, you have a spending limit."

"Would be nice…"

While we were discussing all the things we could do, I heard voices coming from outside my room. It sounded like my parents talking. I got curious and quieted down to listen. They were saying something but I couldn't really hear. 

"Hey, is everything okay on your end?" Sarah's voice broke through the thoughts in my head.

"Yeah, I think so."

"You think so?"

"I mean yeah. Let me call you back in a bit," I replied and quickly ended the call.

Feeling a bit uneasy, I got up and walked closer to the door. I put my ear against it to hear better. I heard them saying things like "soon," "too young," and "responsibility." Then they stopped talking suddenly.

All of a sudden, the door opened, and I lost my balance and fell down. I let out a grunt and slowly rose my head up. My parents stood there, looking surprised and worried at me. My heart raced, and I looked back at them. I'd just been caught red-handed eavesdropping on their conversation.  

Yep, I'm toast.