Chapter 7

After I felt emotionally numb for several hours I decided to call the doctor and had scheduled an appointment for the same day.

Taking yet another pregnancy test to confirm the pregnancy had to be one of the most difficult things I had ever done.

Hearing the baby was the size of a blueberry was enough reason for me to ignore the doctor all throughout my first ultrasound. I used to dream of this moment and had expected it to be a bit different, but it was the complete opposite. I was devastated.

I did not know how to ask for a referral to an abortion clinic but I managed to do it. If I removed the baby now, I wouldn’t get too attached to the idea of something living inside of me. Right?

Yes, that was what I was going to do. I was going to live my life and move on as if nothing happened and after I got rid of the baby, everything would go back to normal, there was no reason for me to be stressed and that’s why I had decided to go to work as usual.

I didn’