Chapter 101

Maybe I've always been afraid of the dark. Not because it indicates the unknown; I am graced with a blessed indifference to what ordinary people fear. What scares me in the dark is the fact that if we get used to it, we can actually see it. The shadows move, forming a dark and familiar mass. We see it, but not totally, and that distresses me. See through the light is more of a necessity than an indulgence. The dark is the fuel that feeds my demons, and I am a mere mortal who watches his sins be disposed at the mercy of salvation. Maybe I always knew that in the same way that my world was forced to a sudden stop by the light, it can spin and spin again if I get used to the darkness again. Maybe.

Although I know perfectly well how it feels, I can't remember if I've ever drowned. Most likely, when I was still a baby, my mother accidentally let me slip into the children's bathtub while looking for something in the bathroom closet, in those few seconds the water invaded my air and