Chapter 88

I realize now that this is really an exaggerated reaction.

My demons growl at me and I growl back at them, and so we understand each other. My claustrophobia no longer exists. I set up freely inside the straitjacket around me, I squirm until I get the minimum space to breathe. It is even comforting to be able to hug me in this situation. I lightly hit my toes around the thin mattress I'm sitting on. Even if my madness is at a level beyond what is normal for a human being, I am aware that no matter my effort, the ground will not give way. I made my illness worse, and the greatest proof of this fact is my return to St. Carolin.

The voices accompanied me all the way. From the hours I spent sleeping thrown in an ambulance, to the hours I spent screaming obscenities and promising to close this damn place. The laughing nurses were not so happy during my arrival. It may have been in the middle of the night, but I remember always seeing them smiling with debauchery at me, n