Chapter 26

I still cannot believe I do… It’s confusing chaos inside my head and heart, but the more I analyze my reactions to him and look back over things that trigger me, the harder it is to deny. I have always been so easy to erupt when he pushes my buttons and overly concerned with his life and how he lives it. I’m pretty pathetic to have never seen it for what it was.

Caring about how much of a mess his grades are and how reckless his life is. Caring about when he drinks or gets into trouble or fights. Worrying when he is late after curfew and covering for him when I have no reason to.; I cook the food he likes rather than what I want when we have to find our own dinner and always let him coerce me at school into helping him even though it does nothing for me. No benefit at all. I have lied for him so many times to my mom. I have put up with so much shit over the years. I shielded him and even cared about whether he would get suspended recently. All for what? Him to bring home the girl I