Chapter 51

I did not sleep.

How could I?

Instead I sat on the commander’s huge bed, it was still the same sheets we had been lying on, I ran my hands through the soft tissue and remembered those brief moments of happiness, the sweet taste of his kiss, his hands on me, my heart was in pieces, because even with Lance Chase’s words about the commander not being able to protect me she was still my husband. And ever since I met him he had saved my life.

And I loved him deeply.

I thought of him alone in a cold cell, trapped in his own castle, hostage to his own blood, John didn’t even have a chance to fight.

I remembered what Lance had said, that I was responsible for his fragility, I had arrested him.

John spent all that time fighting his feelings for me because surrendering to them would be his undoing, and in the end he didn’t mind getting lost, John jumped off the cliff, I always thought he’d be my cliff, in a way he was, How could I live knowing I lost him?