Chapter 96

Alexi taught me I could feel but never showed me how to love. He showed me how to be weak and let another human destroy me when I lowered my guard. How much more can you rip a person apart when you use their heart and mind as the weapon, not their body. Alexi maybe made me fall in love with him, but he never showed me what it was to be loved. I still don’t know what that feels like.

That night I convinced myself it was more than sex; I now see was nothing. He played me, and I fell for it hook, line and sinker. So desperate to mean something to him while he broke my heart in two. I don’t know if he can love or if he’s a dark soul with no empathy for what he does to anyone.

Glimpses of him with his family show someone who can care when blood is the tie, but I don’t know if that’s an ingrained rule in his moral code, set by his upbringing, to respect and keep family close. I never actually saw any genuine affection that would tell me Alexi has any depth to how he can feel,