Chapter 18

What does that even mean? What is more? Can we be more than what we are? Is that even possible, given where we came from and what happened between us? What does ‘more’ mean for him, and what would he expect from me to be that ‘more’?

A relationship?

I don’t even know what that is, even by usual standards. I never had a real relationship with anyone in my life; in any way. Not even any real two-sided friendship, let alone love; well, Mico and Jackson don’t count because it’s business, and they are paid to tolerate me.

My mother couldn’t stand to look at me, and I didn’t know how to form long-term bonds or trust with anyone, let alone a man who crushed me in two and was the root of my trying to end my life.

Trust is a funny thing, and despite my affection for Mico and Jackson, I don’t even think I trust them. And they have done nothing for me to doubt them. How can I begin to learn to trust Alexi? After everything he has put me through.

To trust that he c