Chapter 130

“When are we going to tell the children?” I asked him, as if to occupy my mind with something.

Ivan knew very well what I was talking about; he was not stupid.

“In Christmas?” he ventured, as if asking for my opinion.

I let out an exhale that was meant to be laughter, what a great idea.

“I bet they would consider it a great holiday gift. A new mom!”

“Is this how you see yourself? Like the new mom?” he asked me, frowning. “If you say it like that, it sounds like you’re nothing more than that, a substitute, and like that’s all you mean to me. Believe me, you are and mean so much more, Johanna.”

I loved the way my full name sounded on his lips, with his voice; I liked hearing him say it because it tickled my stomach. He had always provoked that feeling in me.

“Ivan, you know well that I love your children very much. I adore you. I’ve always thought of them a little as if they were my own; I think that during this time I have just been containin