Chapter 34. Devious

~Devonte~

I may sound confident, but my fear and anxiety levels are pretty damn high. What she’s threatening actually shakes me to my core. This isn’t something that I want to get out. I know Lynn said there’s nothing wrong with my preference and that it doesn’t diminish who I am, but that’s hard to hold on to when you are always taught one thing growing up.

The lesson for young boys is that you’re strong. You’re the strongest and have to protect everyone else, especially women. Some lessons tell us that crying makes us weak, and being vulnerable in any way has the same results. Take all of that and add the pressure of being a royal and of ranked blood. I’ve never felt comfortable with my sexual preferences because I’ve been taught that those don’t fit with what/who a man should be.

I lost the made-up version of myself last night. I let go and was able to be the real me and…..I loved it. I loved giving in to the desires that I always kept hidden. It felt so fre