Chapter 3. A Long Way Home

[Carousel and Emoreh both lives at the Ruins of Midgar located just outside north of Midgar City.]

As they were walking, Emoreh couldn’t wait to tell Carousel what he wanted to tell her. The trees along the road were barely alive and the weather was very cold and windy.

“I want to tell you something Carousel.” Emoreh eagerly said.

“What is it?” Carousel unhurriedly asked as if she was enjoying the excitement that she sees in Emoreh’s face. Carousel was so enthusiastic to hear what Emoreh will have to say to her and she thought to herself:

“Emoreh… just seeing you every day and every time is already making me so happy, but if you would ask me to be with you, to run away with you and to return the love that you consider for me… then that would make me the happiest girl in the world… and I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but before I met you, my life literally had no meaning, no significance, I perceive life as a mind-numbing routine, where all of us are just doing something, inventing something, achieving something, creating all the things that we can possibly create time and again – and we’re doing all these… simply just to make ourselves busy. And that was my perception in life before, but when I met you… you gave a new meaning to my life, you literally made me want to wake up every day, just so I can see you. You made me appreciate the things in my surroundings, telling me that things should never be just taken for granted, because you said… that no one and nothing in this world is without any value and, that I can learn from anything and anyone in this world. And even though at times, things are becoming repetitive – it’s our choice to like it or not… and I realized everything you said was true. And for the last three years we’ve known each other, I have been dreaming of this, you… walking me home and revealing your true feelings for me. This might not be the first and only time that you and I walked through this barren and desolated road heading to the Ruins of Midgar but this time, it feels so different because you don’t usually tell me something that I should even wait for, when you wanted to tell me something, you always tell it to me right away, that’s how straightforward you are, that’s how truthful you are. I know that it was so lame of me, that it took me three long years for you to really like me, but at least I still made you fall into liking me because now, you have finally realized that no one else gives you the attention, the concern and, especially the love that I am giving you. I know that you are just returning the affections that I am giving you because that’s also how you feel about me, you are just being true to yourself and feelings, but saying it formally to me will just seal the union between us. And I don’t easily get impressed, but you certainly can impress me with your truthful nature.” Carousel unconsciously smiled as she thought those words to herself.

Carousel then slowly looked down. She waited for Emoreh to tell her what he wanted to tell her, as she tucked her hair unto her ear, because it was really windy. Carousel slightly shut her eyes, enjoying the scenery around them, even though the clouds up above are gray and the skies are dark red. The clouds were now slowly turning into an even darker shade of gray and it looks like it is going to rain heavily again soon.

“But it’s really such a refreshing feeling to be with you. Emoreh, even if the weather conditions here are always such turmoil.” Carousel thought to herself again as she slowly looked at Emoreh’s face, his face was filled with excitement. Carousel’s eyes were full of eagerness, as she delayed her answer when Emoreh told her that he wanted to tell her something, Carousel still wanted to enjoy the reaction she’s seeing in Emoreh’s face but she soon finally asked, “What is it?” as Carousel slowly turned her face away from Emoreh pretending to look at where they were heading at and preparing to look as if she’s going to be surprised if Emoreh starts to tell her what she’s been eagerly wanting him to say to her.

“Remember Emery?” Emoreh quickly asked and he really sounded excited, his voice sounded really perky.

“What! What about Emery?” Carousel jolted and slowly asked as she was taken aback and tries to clear her throat, she was confused and Emoreh really did surprise her.

“Well, I wasn’t telling you that I was actually pursuing her again lately, because you might think that I’m really making it hard on myself and I don’t want you to worry about it and, it would be so embarrassing for me, to let you know that I will get rejected by her again if things goes on the same, but the truth is, I wasn’t over her and, now she finally decided to give me another chance.”

Carousel was speechless and stunned upon hearing those words from Emoreh; she couldn’t believe what she had just heard from him. She felt like there was a huge vacuum of channel sucking her whole body and, then throwing her into the complete abyss of emptiness, she couldn’t breathe and, she couldn’t speak, as if she had swallowed a big rock that got stuck in her throat.

“Carousel, is there something wrong?” Emoreh quickly asked, as he was looking very concern at Carousel’s awkward situation.

“No… Nothing,” Carousel abruptly replied as she slowly cleared her throat. “Why would there be something wrong?” her voice was obviously shaking. “That’s… good, she finally gave you a chance, I’m really happy for you!” Carousel said, but she couldn’t even convince herself that she really sounded happy for them. She then tried to keep her composure.

“Why… thank you!” Emoreh said with a tight smile as he wonders a bit.

Carousel’s eyes widened as she couldn’t believe that he was actually convinced that she was really happy for him… he was so naïve in her point of view.

“As long as you are happy… with her, then I’m happy for you too… and for the both of you.” Carousel said, while trying to conceal her real feelings, she tried swallowing the fluids that had accumulated in her mouth because of the stress that she had unexpectedly felt and there seems to be an extreme pain which she was suddenly experiencing in her chest – but then she thought… maybe it was just because of the circumstances.

Emoreh held both her hands while they stopped momentarily from walking, and he stared at her sincerely and said, “Carousel, I am so glad that you’re happy for me and I wish that you could also experience the same feeling that I am experiencing right now, if only I could make you feel what I am feeling right now… you will certainly forget your own name, because all that you will be remembering is Emery’s name… I mean his name,” Emoreh quickly corrected himself. “I mean… whoever that guy is, that you are in love with.”

He suddenly released her hands probably realizing what he had just said to her. “Or, is there any?” Emoreh unhurriedly asked, having completely no idea what Carousel was really feeling.

Carousel’s jaw inadvertently dropped and then she quickly shut it back, as soon as she realized that it involuntarily opened. It was the first time that she had wished for an earthquake to occur in front of her. (Although earthquakes are very common in planet Eris, especially at the Ruins of Midgar.) Carousel wished for the ground to open in front of her and consume her, so she can just disappear from this very unfortunate event.

She tried her best to compose herself before looking at him again in the eyes and she slowly replied, “Yes, I can see your contentment and I hope that I could also experience what you are experiencing right now, but no, there is no other guy, that I… I love… I mean… I… I like.” She slowly said, as they continued walking and Carousel could hardly finish what she was saying. She just hoped that she wasn’t acting miserable in front of Emoreh.

“Thank you, but contentment?” Emoreh asked with a smug face. “I am not just contented Carousel, I am extremely, extremely happy!” His voice was thunderous as he was raising his arms in the air and, for a second it seemed that the dark gray clouds up above them had produced a terrifying lightning that signified his victory for Emery.

Seeing Emoreh in his reactions just made Carousel pity herself, but she still managed to put up a convincing smile. “I see but…” Carousel was having second thoughts when Emoreh quickly interrupted.

“But what?” He interrupted.

Carousel wanted to ask him, why she didn’t have any idea that he was still madly in love with Emery which she didn’t even became aware of and, that Carousel thought that he was falling in love with her.

“But I guess it’s all up to me to realize all those things.” Carousel then just softly said to herself and, all that she said to him was, “I’m… I’m just here. If you need me, I’m just here Emoreh.” Carousel still looking mystified of how quickly things had happened.

Emoreh hugged her and whispered, “I know… I know that you will always be here for me, you were my only companion through my loneliest of times and I hope that it will still remain the same.” But the tone of his voice was worried.

She hastily answered “What are you talking about? Of course, we will still remain friends.” Carousel made it sound like everything was just normal. “What makes you think that we won’t remain friends?” She asked with civility, but deep inside her, she was still hurting and was trying to compose herself.

“Well… uhm…” As he released Carousel from being tightly hugged, his eyebrows were pulled down. “I just thought that…” Emoreh said and then looked at her as if he was analyzing her thoughts, he then rubbed his head.

Carousel looked down and then slowly looked at him in the eyes once more; she was feeling a bit wary of what he might be telling her again, as if she hadn’t had enough. Her eyebrows were pulled down, being impatient while waiting for him to speak.

“You don’t seem to have… a special liking for me? Do you?” Emoreh slightly shook his head and sounded a bit sarcastic.

“Of course not! I certainly don’t!” Carousel quickly replied with a smacked facial expression and, her eyebrows were pulled down to make it look like she was bothered about his statement, but the sound of her voice was obviously not convincing at all, her eyes slowly narrowed. “Why would I feel that I have a special liking for you?” The tone of her voice was starting to sound aggravated. “I see you as a friend… as a friend only and that is all there is to it, nothing more and nothing less.” She was feeling really hurt when she said those words.

Emoreh partly nodded, while still looking at her. “That’s… that’s right.” he slowly said. “I’m just making it clear, because I don’t want to get the wrong impressions about your actions towards me.” He sounded worried.

“No! Not at all… why would you even get the wrong ideas? My actions towards you were just plain and friendly gestures. That’s all.” But Carousel was very sure that she wasn’t sounding believable.

“So, we’re still friends, right?” Emoreh asked, he was not looking very convinced.

“Definitely!” Carousel cried.

“Then, why don’t I see it in your face that you really are happy for me?” Emoreh slowly questioned Carousel.

“Don’t I? I don’t look happy? You think that I don’t look happy?” Her words were crumbling. “Of course I am! See!” As she puts up a convincing smile. Carousel then tried to clear her throat again before saying, “Oh… look, here we are at the Ruins of Midgar, how time flies by so quickly…” she said, whereas the truth is she felt like it took them years to walk through that barren road.

“I’m heading this way,” Carousel said, as she pointed her finger to her left. “And you are heading that way, right?” As she pointed her finger to her right, Carousel still tried to sound thankful, since Emoreh had accompanied her to walk through that road.

Then she hugged him and wished nothing more for him but to be just happy with Emery.

“I better get going… I still have lots of house hold works to do before night falls.” Carousel reprimanded, even though there is really no work for her to do at home, she really didn’t feel like lying to Emoreh, but this time, she felt like it was needed. She needed an excuse.

“At least, let me walk you… until you get home.” Emoreh slowly insisted.

“No, I’m okay. I’ll be fine, really.” She tried convincing him. “I can manage to go home alone, as if I haven’t walked this ruins for so many years, I grew up here, remember?” said Carousel as she tried to sound very perky.

Emoreh nodded and his pressed lips were keen to open before asking, “So, are you going to train at Stellar Academy tomorrow?”

Carousel automatically anticipated that she won’t be able to go to the academy the following morning feeling so miserable, so she calmly replied, “Uhm… I don’t know… I also have lots of things to do tomorrow,” she said. “Maybe… after tomorrow, I guess.” She persuasively replied as she said goodbye and turned around. And while she was walking away from Emoreh, she didn’t even bother to turn around and look back at him again, she felt like she didn’t care if he was following her or if he was still looking at her back, Carousel just continued walking and didn’t even care and, she felt so wasted… all the while, she thought Emoreh was in love with her because he was surely returning back her affections for him.

“How could I possibly misunderstand his affections for me? I’m certain that his fondness towards me is more than just the friendly thing, but then I guess I was just keenly falling in love with him all the time… and maybe that’s why I didn’t became aware that he was also and still ardently in love with Emery… but then again, how could I get it wrong? His actions were positively true, I’m sure of it,” Carousel said to herself feeling unsure. “But now I guess… I guess that it only seems to feel that it’s true, but it’s obviously not.” said Carousel to herself as she wanted to cry because she pity herself and she felt betrayed, but yet, the feeling of being deceived and shocked is what she was feeling the most.

Carousel could now see their shelter from a near distance, she wanted to run, to seek comfort, but she couldn’t move her feet very well, every step she takes is sluggish.

“Why can’t I move my feet well? Oh, maybe because my reflexes had something to do with my emotions and I am certainly feeling miserable and exhausted right now.” She thought to herself.

[The shelters at the Ruins of Midgar are usually modern buildings that are slightly wrecked or severely wrecked, with trees mostly growing from the inside of the shelters, sprouting throughout the windows, doors, and roofs or any outlet that it can afford to emerge, vines and shrubs are also recognizable on the walls inside and outside the shelters.]

As Carousel was barely walking from a miserable situation, she noticed a shadow emerging from one of the surviving standing pillars from the ruins. She hesitated at first, because she can hardly see the shadow for it was already dusk and very windy. She tried to partly shut her eyes from the windy conditions to focus on the shadow but her senses weren’t that sharp because of what she was feeling. But then she noticed that it was Rachael who was coming out of that pillar.

“Rachael? Is that you? What are you doing here?” Carousel surprisingly asked.

“Yes it’s me, I hope you’re alright.” Rachael replied, she looked worried as she walks closer to Carousel.

Carousel paused for a while thinking, “How ? Oh, I get it… you’ve predicted that this would happen? Right?” she softly and faintly asked.

“Yes…” Rachael’s voice was hardly heard.

“That’s why you came here?”

Rachael just nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? So I could have avoided this miserable experience.” As Carousel starts walking, bypassing Rachael.

“Even though I can see your future, I can only see a glimpse of it, and I can only see the actions not hear it.” said Rachael as she quickly tries to follow Carousel from behind. “And besides, I can’t see what Emoreh’s future is… I can only see yours… so I’m not totally sure what lies within your future because he had interfered”. Rachael explained as she sighed. “And it doesn’t mean that when I see a glimpse of the future that it is always sure to happen… things can always have a peculiar twist you know, that is why I decided not to tell you the things that I saw… and who knows what could have happened if only you have tried to tell him first, what your feelings for him are. Maybe Emoreh could have told you a different confession… Oh, I should have told you to confess your love for him first. It’s my entire fault. Oh, I’m so sorry Carousel.” Rachael said as she tries to comfort her beloved friend.

“No, I don’t think so,” Carousel abruptly replied. “You are not the one to be blamed, and from the looks of him, Emoreh looked so excited and enthusiastic to tell me something, so he’s probably really determined to tell me his feelings for Emery and, besides I don’t want him lying about his true feelings for me if ever I got the chance to tell him first what my feelings for him are, because I would only be just fooling myself. Things have turned out to be the way I didn’t expect it to be, but at least now I got to know the truth… and it’s a little bit hard to accept it right now but I’m sure I’ll get over this soon.” Carousel said while still feeling exhausted from the situation.

“Well, I can see that you are feeling a little bit better now, so no need for me to worry right?” Rachael walked closer to Carousel and hugged her tightly. “I came all the way here to check if you were alright… and from the looks of it you are now. If only you knew how I really care about you Carousel” Rachael whispered, as she slowly released her hand from hugging Carousel. “I’ll probably be going home now, because it’s getting dark and it’s still a long way for me to get home.” Rachael said.

“No, please don’t go,” Carousel quickly held Rachael’s hand when she was about to leave. “It’s already nightfall and it looks like it’s going to rain again, so please come home with me and stay here just for tonight.” Carousel pleaded.

Rachael read Carousel’s mind and felt that she was really needed by Carousel, that’s why she decided to accept Carousel’s plea.

A few more walks and they had finally reached Carousel’s shelter, just in time as the heavy rain started to pour, Carousel lives with her mother in an abandoned and slightly wrecked, slightly tilted three story building, with a big tree that grew at the entrance of the building sprouting towards the second and third floor, where Carousel’s bedroom is located.

“Come let’s climb this tree, it will lead us to my room.” Carousel said.

“Why do we have to climb that tree? Isn’t there any stairs in this building?” Rachael asked as she looked around to find one.

“But this would take us less time to get to my room, rather than walk those narrow stairs and, besides this tree is so much more reliable than those puny looking stairs,” replied Carousel as she was about to climb that tree.

Rachael looked at the fragile looking stairs near the entrance and she was convinced and that she decided to go after Carousel.

Carousel was so used to climbing that tree and that her reflexes was now working much faster again and, it only took her a few seconds to reach her room, when she noticed that Rachael was still stuck in the middle of the tree struggling for her balance.

“Shh… be quiet, you might wake her up.” said Carousel when Rachael began making some raucous sounds, she begged Rachael in a quiet soft voice.

“Who?”

“My mom, she may be sleeping at the ground floor or at the second, I don’t know. But I’m sure she’s already sleeping at this time.”

“Well, come and help me then.” Rachael quietly demanded.

Carousel helped Rachael afterwards as they entered her room through a wrecked window.

“Why are you so worried that your mom might awake? Is it because she may scold you if she finds out that you got home this late?”

“I’m glad if that’s the case… but no, she doesn’t care whether I’m home early or late and, she doesn’t even care if I’m here or not, all she cares about is her sleep and her activities. And she definitely doesn’t want her nap to be disturbed, and that is why I told you to try, not to wake her up.”

Rachael looked worried about what she had just heard and slightly nodded.

“So is it all right for your father if you spend the night here? Will he worry?” Carousel asked Rachael.

“Of course he’ll worry! He’s probably worrying about me right now, so I better call him.” said Rachael while she was looking for a telephone.

Carousel pointed at the rustic telephone on the wrecked side table near her bed and said, “Why do you need a telephone? I thought you said your father has a great mind-reading ability?”

“First of all, you need eye contact for you to be able to read someone else’s mind and, secondly, same mind reading ability cancels each other’s skills remember?”

“Oh yes, now I remember.”

Rachael then called her father on the telephone, while Carousel didn’t even bother to see if Rachael did made a phone call because she was so exhausted. She didn’t even clean herself and didn’t even eat as she prepared herself for bed. Carousel then slowly lay on her bed and Rachael also followed and lay beside her after calling her father, and she hugged her as Carousel was curled up like a ball on her bed.

“Rachael, I’m so glad that you’re here,” Carousel whispered as she tries to wrap herself tighter from Rachael’s embrace.

Rachael just hugged her even tighter.

“Rachael… can I ask you something?” Carousel softly asked.

“What is it?”

“Why, did you just suddenly disappear three years ago? I didn’t hear anything from you ever since, why… did you all of a sudden go away?” Carousel slowly and softly asked.

“I went away… because I felt… I felt that you didn’t need me anymore during those times.” Rachael tenderly replied.

Carousel’s eyes widened in surprise and, felt a bit embarrass because she knows that Rachael was actually telling her the truth and, that she felt she didn’t really need her during those times.

“All you needed that time was Emoreh… so I felt that I wasn’t needed anymore, that’s why I left.” Rachael concluded.

Carousel slowly hid her face from Rachael with her two wrapped arms covering her head and, she didn’t bother to react. Because she knows it’s true and, there is no point in arguing if someone like Rachael can read her mind.

Carousel then quickly fell asleep and she started having that same dream of hers again.

She was walking, up on a circular staircase again, but this time when she had finally reached the top, it has a different scenario… instead of seeing a bright light, she saw a bizarre fluid like object that started to rise in front of her, and then she woke up feeling very anxious after that dream. It was already early morning.

Carousel sat from being laid on the bed, while her arms were wrapped around her two bended legs and she bend her head touching her knees and thought, “This is the first time that my dream had a different situation at the end.” She said to herself wondering. “That thing? Reminds me of the water like creature that rose in front of me at Lake Midgar when I was just a little girl,” Carousel looked very puzzled as she was rubbing her forehead when she realized… Rachael was not there with her at her bedroom anymore. Carousel then quickly went downstairs to look for Rachael but found her mom instead, wiping out a lot of bugs and creepy crawlers on the walls and floors.

“Mom, killing those bugs won’t stop them from coming back.” Carousel said, while looking around at their wrecked and tilted home, with vines and shrubs crawling on the walls and, a big tree that had grown from the entrance of their house. And from the looks of it, there is really no way of getting rid of those bugs. “Mom, just leave them alone, we have lived like this for years and I got used to it, so just get used to it too.” Carousel demanded.

“Oh, just shut up!” Carousel’s mom cried at the top of her voice while she looked at Carousel with a complete smug face. “Why shouldn’t I kill these pests? Their pests! That’s what they are and, they should be exterminated!”

“And you should be looking for food instead of wandering around. Now go, before I consider you as one of them!” Her mom haughtily said to her.

Carousel just rolled her eyes and, when her mom wasn’t looking at her, she pulled out a bread from the table and left.

“There’s no point arguing with you.” Carousel murmured to herself, as she went off outside to look for Rachael.

A few more steps outside their shelter and Carousel finally found her best friend. “There you are!” Carousel exclaimed upon seeing Rachael who was sitting at one of the blocks of the ruins.

Rachael then turned and looked at Carousel feeling concerned for her friend. “Are you alright?” Rachael asked looking a little bit worried again.

Carousel’s eyebrows were pulled down looking baffled. “Of course I am, ahhh…”

Carousel immediately said while getting Rachael’s point. “Oh, that was nothing, I’m used to it. There is really no point reasoning with my mom.” Carousel said.

“By the way, did she see you?” Carousel continued asking.

“Yes, she saw me but she didn’t even bother asking who I am and, you’re right… your mom doesn’t seem to care anything else besides her doings, so I just left while she was busy making those breads.” Rachael said to Carousel.

“I told you so, but when you get to live with her, you’ll get used to it.”

“Do you love your mother Carousel?” Rachael unexpectedly asked.

“What are you saying? Of course, I do love her!” Carousel abruptly replied, as she was surprised by Rachael’s sudden question. “But, there are times that I don’t, and there are times that I really want to leave her, but it’s just that I don’t want coming back home and seeing something really bad happening to her. Because I will be just blaming myself for that, that’s why I’m really trying my best to understand her and I’m the only one in this world that she’s got, so I have to look out for her.”

“Is she really your mother Carousel?” asked Rachael again.

Carousel thought for a while before answering back. “You can really read my mind… well… that’s what I’m also trying to figure out all these years, because there are times that she’s saying that I am her daughter and, there are times that she’s saying that I’m not. My mom really has a bad memory you know.”

“Well, what do you think?”

“I don’t know, honestly it doesn’t really matter to me that much if she’s my real mother or not because what’s the point of knowing my beginning if I can’t even remember it.”

“But let’s assume that you are not her real daughter, that’s why she is so harsh on you… what do you have to say about that?”

“It’s all up to her… it’s her right to do anything she believes in… but for me… I would rather have a child that’s not really my own that later on turns out to become a better person, rather than having a child that’s really my own but had become a very terrible person.” replied Carousel as she shuddered.

The gray clouds in the skies then started to rumble and it started to rain again and Carousel and Rachael then quickly moved to a more protected shelter of the ruins.

“Why is the weather here, such turmoil?” Rachael asked, sounding very irritated about the weather while trying to dry herself from being drenched in the sudden pouring of the rain.

“The weather here is always been like this, we’re used to it… is the weather not like this in your place?” Carousel asked comfortably, as she didn’t get wet from the sudden rain pour because she was quick to take cover.

“I don’t remember!” Rachael exclaimed so her voice would be heard as the rain starts to pour heavily.

“You don’t remember? How could you not remember the weather condition at your place?” Carousel asked, her eyes flickered in confusion.

And then a sturdy earthquake unexpectedly occurred.

“And now, an earthquake?” Rachael asked with a grunt, while trying to hold on to something. “Is this the normal condition here?” Rachael complained.

“Actually only slight earthquakes are common here, but a powerful one like this right now, occurs only once in a while but still it’s not as if it is rarely happening.” Carousel loudly said while her voice was being upstaged by the rumbling sound of the earthquake and she was still trying to put a contented smile. “That’s why people here, doesn’t bother fixing or renovating their shelters because of these conditions.” She added.

Then, suddenly just like that, the underground eruption finally subsided.

“Finally…” Rachael said feeling somewhat relieved. “I’m so glad that that was over… by the way, are you not going to train at Stellar Academy today?”

“Uhm… maybe not.”

“Why not? Still not ready to see Emoreh yet?” Rachael was teasingly asking.

“You can probably say that… yes, I think I’m not ready to see him today, because I’m just gonna feel sorry for myself and pity myself if I will see them.”

Rachael bit her lips and anxiously said, “You know what? Yesterday when you introduced me to Faust, I thought he sees you as a big of a deal.”

“Really? What do you mean by that? That’s odd! Because I thought about the same thing about you two,” Carousel hastily replied and shook her head. “But no… he doesn’t! To me that is.”

“Are you sure?” asked Rachael.

“Of course I’m sure, I have also known him quite some time now, and I don’t see any more than just the social gathering thing between the two of us. He’s a friend of Emoreh but he’s not a friend of mine; I know his name and his status at the academy but I hardly know him.”

“But I’m sure, he knows you very well.” Rachael teasingly said.

“Okay, I know where you’re getting me at Rachael.” Carousel said with a warning. “I know I can’t read your mind but putting Faust on the scene is not really acceptable.”

Rachael then puts a sarcastic smile.

“I’m just gonna be fine, trust me! I know that it will take some time for me to accept it, but I can always get used to it, I can always move on and you know that!” Carousel said while looking down and trying to breath as normal as possible. “You don’t need to put Faust on the scene just to make me happy,” as Carousel was looking straight at Rachael. “I guess if you want to train at the academy, you should probably go now… before you get yourself late.” Carousel said and she was eager for Rachael to leave, she doesn’t want to prolong their conversation about Emoreh anymore.

“Oh yes, you’re right… I should be going now.” Rachael abruptly said. “Are you sure you’re not coming with me?”

“Yes… I’m sure, and besides it’s not really necessary for us to go there and train every day, it’s not like it’s a prerequisite, we can always take a time off you know.”

Rachael then went on to the academy leaving Carousel behind at the Ruins of Midgar sitting on a ruined block while thinking something to herself.

The following day, Carousel went on to train at the Stellar Academy she was hastily walking, trying not to look at anybody and not to look at anything, she was just looking at the path where it leads to her training room. When she got there, she went straight ahead to their training area.

The areas of the splitters who trains in the Impulsy division like Carousel are designated at the rotating shafts of the building, so their bodies can react differently if they are positioned in a moving place.

As Carousel took a break from training, she took a quick peek out of the window and noticed that Faust was looking at her from the other side of the shaft’s window, Carousel then smiled at Faust, but Faust just didn’t react. Carousel then felt a little bit offended but then realized that Faust couldn’t have possibly seen her smile because they were so far from each other, and that she was the only one who could see him clearly because her eyesight was sharper. And she could very well see Faust’s facial expression; she saw that Faust’s eyes narrowed in and his eyebrows were pulled down as if trying to figure her out but then for a moment he suddenly hid himself away from the window, away from the scene. Carousel then felt uneasy, she twitched her lips as she moved away from that window and continued with her training.

During their training break, Carousel saw Faust again at the school’s lobby, and he was a bit uneasy upon seeing her but still he decided to approach Carousel, and he asked her.

“Uhm… Carousel, you probably saw me looking at you during your training… I just thought for a second there that you were Rachael, because you two really do look alike, anyways… I’m here to ask if… you have seen Emoreh.” Faust slowly asked as he was trying to clear his throat.

Carousel was having second thoughts if she would reply or not but then decided to.

“No, I haven’t seen him yet, why? Didn’t he come to train today?”

“Not just today! But he also didn’t come yesterday, and I figured since you two were always together at all times… that you would know where his whereabouts.”

“No, I haven’t seen him today, but I last saw him the other day,” Carousel said feeling a little bit wary. “But I’m sure he’s just busy with something, and he’ll probably come tomorrow, just don’t worry about it.” said Carousel but her voice sounded like she was about to worry.

“I know… I shouldn’t be, but… but… how about you? You seemed too worried.” Faust unhurriedly said, he was feeling very concerned for Carousel.

“No, I’m not! But yes, I’m a little bit worried, I guess.” Carousel said, feeling unsure of what she was really feeling. “But he’s just probably hanging out with Emery, you know Emery right?”

“Yes, I know her, but why would he hang out with Emery?” Faust asked with his eyebrows pulled down, looking confused.

“Well… Uhm…” When Carousel was about to continue what she was about to say to Faust, she saw Emery from afar and decided to have a talk with her. “Uhm… could you, excuse me for a while?” said Carousel to Faust.

“Sure…” Faust slowly said as his eyes widened and his lips were pressed in a thin line, he felt somewhat curious.

Carousel then rushed to follow Emery at the outside yard of the academy’s lobby.

“Emery! Wait up.” Carousel insisted.

Emery slowly turned around and looked at Carousel.

“Did you happen to see Emoreh?” Carousel asked her. “Because my friend,” said Carousel as she points to where Faust was. “Because my friend, Faust, is looking for him.” said Carousel.

Emery’s eyes were sardonic. “No,” Emery replied with the softest possible voice that Carousel had ever heard, and Carousel can barely see Emery’s lips move.

Carousel wanted to ask Emery if Emoreh had ran away with her but she felt that this was out of the subject and obviously Emery was standing in front of her alone, so Emoreh couldn’t have possibly ran away with her. Carousel only said, “Uhm… okay, I-I was just asking,” Carousel said feeling a little bit embarrassed.

Emery slowly looked down, turned around and walked away without any sign of concern.

“Emery doesn’t seem to worry about Emoreh… so why would I?” Carousel murmured to herself, she then looked back and she didn’t see Faust anywhere so she decided to go back at the training area and found some of her fellow splitters were already developing their strengths and reflexes, but Carousel didn’t mind because deep down inside her… she was still worrying about Emoreh.

Trainings ended and Carousel bumped into Faust once again at the school’s premise.

“You okay? You still look very worried.” Faust asked.

“No,” said Carousel while she was trying to avoid Faust. “It’s just that…” Carousel was thinking something to divert the subject. “That… I’m… I’m worried about… the water creature Dimitris told us to find and capture.” It felt like it took Carousel days to think of that excuse. “Yes, that’s right! I’m worried about the water creature that I have to find!” Carousel exclaimed.

“Why… you sounded really worried?!” Faust sarcastically said, with his eyebrows pulled up.

Carousel’s eyes flickered in awkwardness.

“Speaking of that water creature, I also want to capture one! They say that, those creatures are immortal, that they can go through a very unique transition in their lives. This goes that if they had already achieved their maturity state that they can always return to become an embryo, and repeat their life cycle once again.” Faust said sounding very sure of his statement.

“Have you seen one?” Carousel asked.

“No, I haven’t actually seen one, but one of our trainers said, she saw one and that it has a ‘tear’ shaped body.”

“A tear shape body?”

“Yes, why?”

“Well, because I also saw one, when I was a little girl, but the water creature that I saw during that time has a… peculiar shape, a bizarre shape… not a ‘tear’ shape.” said Carousel.

“Where did you see it? Do you still remember where? Faust asked, sounding very curious.

“Yes, I saw one at Lake Midgar.”

“Really? I would like to go there sometime and capture one.”

“Why? Is Dimitris asking all you ‘alchemists’ to go find and capture a water creature too?”

“No, not really but because like what I’ve said, that creature has a transition in its life and in Alchemy we are studying about transitions on how to convert or change one thing to another. So I thought that if I could only study their behavior, maybe I can find a clue about the way they can make a transition.”

“We can go there right now, if you want… so we can find out if the water creature we both have in mind is the same.” Carousel quickly suggested. “But Lake Midgar is very far from here, and I don’t know about you, but I can certainly run all the way there without dropping a sweat.” Carousel teasingly said and to make it look like she wasn’t worried about Emoreh at all.

“Uhm… I have a ‘vessel’ parked over there,” Faust pointed at his floating vessel. “But today is really not a day for me to be going anywhere because you know… I’m the only one managing the only ‘telephone company’ in this city and there are cables that were destroyed during yesterday’s sturdy earthquake, so we need to get it fixed.” said Faust.

“Oh, I totally understand,” Carousel abruptly said. “So, uhm… just set a time then when you have a vacant… a free time so we can go there.”

“Okay, but I… I still don’t know when,” Faust slightly shook his head and his face was a bit worried. “I only have a few workers with me to work with, because it’s so hard to find a worker who wants to work these days, considering that there are only a few hundreds of people left in this city, so its gonna take us some time to fix those cables, but, yeah, I will tell you when I’m available.” said Faust with a smile.

“All right then… so just tell me when you’re available okay? Bye!” That’s all Carousel said to Faust and then she immediately went straight home.

“I’m relieved that we weren’t able to go to Lake Midgar today because I wasn’t really in the mood to go there right now.” Carousel mumbled to herself.

That entire time of her talking to Faust was a heave because what she has still in mind was Emoreh.