Chapter 21

Reluctantly I move back, watch her turn away from me for a second, and feel that panic rise in my stomach, torn in two about what to do. Hesitation is the overriding factor. I need to think this through. I’m better when I get space to process things, which I need to do. I should give myself space to lay it out neatly, plan how to overcome it all, and then return to her.

I watch her in closed-down ‘stay away’ mode and finally start to leave quietly, knowing I have no other option. Sophie is in the frame of mind where she wants to be left alone, and even if I had something more positive to say to her, she’s not in the mood to hear it. I walk away, pausing outside her door in a moment of doubt about whether I should go or not. Torn as I give her one last lingering look.

She has her back to me, held stiffly as she messes with the stuff on her vanity, and I can tell it’s an act to push me to leave. Fake indifference. She’s guarding herself, holding together until I go away. I