Chapter 185

But. In that moment, that awful moment where it felt like I have led us to a cliff of no return, it made sense that I should put some distance between us so I could think. It made sense when I said I was going to stay at the apartment he bought for me when I first arrived here for a while, that time feels like a century ago, so much has happened since that time when we were still fighting against the attraction, still delusional about how deeply we felt for eachother.

I shared this apartment with Ashley at a time when I believed I had all that taboo affection under control. My biggest concern then was how I would survive three months without doing anything I would end up regretting and here I am. Here we are. It is surreal to think about how much can change in a few months.

It made sense to keep some distance, but now, laying on this comfortable but unfamiliar couch, in this cold room that reminds me too much of my best friend and how our friendship went south, it doesn't make