Chapter 243. How to Forgive Myself?

Indeed, I had never had an ultrasound so I couldn't imagine that I was expecting two children instead of one. But listening to Michaël I could only realize the baseness of my character as a mother. I had promised myself that I would never do as my mother did, which was to abandon my child, but that's exactly what I did. And I think I did worse because I disowned him, making him cry. My jealousy and anger kept me from thinking and I made horrible and unfair decisions. 

Manuel grew up without his mother, I understand his speech the day before. I was pathetic, I don't know how to be forgiven. I looked up at my boys on the bed and saw Manuel holding out his hands to me.

 " Mom..."

 I sobbed running to him as I hugged him, almost smothering him in my embrace. I've been so unfair, I don't know if I could ever make it up to you but I would do anything to erase the pain of my absence from my baby's heart. I'm going to be the mother he's been missing all this