Chapter 52

I knew that a lot of that lack of sleep was not just because of the terrible way our conversation ended. It should also be the feeling that Edward would be rethinking everything and martyring himself for going after me. Because he knew it was a mistake, and even so, he still tried to look for me. Because he knew it was not healthy for us to keep in touch, but he still wanted us to continue to know about each other's existence. And I should have felt even more used and angry that he kept coming back and disappearing from my life, because he involved me in that kind of relationship that should not serve as an example for anyone, only that he still loved him.

Edward could awaken the best and the worst in me. My best was to do everything so that we could be together. And my worst was to do my best at an even greater intensity. Edward was the focus of my thoughts, and I knew it was his focus. Even if he didn't admit it and did everything for me to avoid him, he still thou