Chapter 47

There was a reason I used to revert to compliant silence; it’s the only way to disconnect from the horror being done to you mentally and the only way to salvage any sanity. It’s how I have lived through all I have and come out with some ounce of a functioning human.

I try to go into that place deep inside my head as he continues to buckle me to this contraption and try like crazy to shut it all off. Block it all out and numb me from what my body will endure. Close down, recoil inside and protect what I have left of my sanity. I learned this when I survived so much. I can get through this. I have done so many times before when terrible, awful things were done to my body. I cringe as every leather cuff he wraps around my lifeless limbs and waist is pulled tight and bites into me. I close my eyes and chew on my lip until I taste blood, turning silent in my mental hell as tears pour down my face. Until I am entirely held to the wooden cross and hang my head in complete defeat, una