Chapter 58

Alexi laughs and shifts to lean back in his chair, lifting his dessert spoon and tapping it annoyingly on the surface.

“The love-sick man… adoring you and growing old together?” If he could have made that question any more steeped in sarcasm and disdain, he would have, but it’s weighty as it is. I hate that he caught me watching them, and my face colours with heat that maybe for a moment deep down I got a pang of what that could be like, to have someone love me… but I’m not stupid enough to ever want it or believe in it. I have seen the real face of men my whole life, it’s all masks and fairy tales, and the reality is a dark and cruel result. The truth is that men like Alexi believe women are objects and can do whatever they want. His idea of love is ownership and punishment when you disobey.

“I gave up on that fancy a long time ago. I’m a realist. I’m damaged goods, and decent men, if they even exist, avoid women like me as though we are diseased. We are good for sexual