Chapter 92

The past few days are not forgotten because he is being civil and spent a night taking care of me. I am all over the place where he is concerned, and part of me is longing for the gentle lover who held me close and kissed me passionately the night he protected me from an attempted abduction. The other part hates him and never wants to see him again, afraid of the person who can kill without remorse, yet the two continuously coincide, and neither takes dominance. It’s exhausting. Has he forgotten what I watched him do, what I know he did? I am still shaken and messed up from all that happened before last night, and yet he’s acting like it never happened. Like it doesn’t matter that he threatened to end my life only days ago.

I push it all down deep inside and play this as he does… ignore it, pretend it’s not an issue, and all I care about is the conversation in hand, even if I have started to feel pasty and weak.

“I don’t want to go back; there is nothing there for me.” I