Chapter 96

After packing and alone in Alexi’s apartment, I wander around aimlessly, trying to find something to pass away the hours I have left here. It’s raining out, overcast, grey and cold. It is barely mid-afternoon, and I have nothing to watch or read that will hold my interest. I am cried out and empty, feeling listless and raw and hoping I can distract myself from all that I think right now.

How can it be when my head has one image and one thought?

The fact is that I am pining, stupid and emotional, and all I keep replaying in my head is him and his parting words. Crushing my soul and tormenting myself, even though it’s stupid.

He wants me gone, and I want to be free of him. There is no reason to feel distraught and set adrift because I am getting just that. I skim my phone for the millionth time and hover over his number. Knowing these are the last hours of any connection to him makes me erratic and stupid, and I have to keep chastising myself for letting him get in m