Chapter 52

School is stressing me out today, Christian and Jenny are squabbling in the corner, and I have had to redraft this pattern a dozen times. My focus is all over the place, and the interruptions by Karen, another classmate, are making me crazy. I should have just stayed home.

I woke up moody and irritable, and when Arrick got up to shower, I found myself lying in bed and staring at his phone, contemplating if he had deleted texts from her. I know it’s stupid. I pushed away the temptation to look at his phone, hating that my mind even went there and knowing how wrong it would be. I would go crazy if he looked through mine, even though there’s nothing I wouldn’t show him. I know I trust him, but my heart and my head are gnawing apart, with her swirling between us. I have so many insecurities from before; his choice to have a life with her and not me. His decision to keep her around, and as rational as I am trying to be about everything, I can’t help how it’s making me this way.